the power...

2009-07-31T22:16:00.003+08:00

Dedicated to Miss Gay r. Hubilla.

Those Dancing Days.

2009-04-27T03:10:00.009+08:00

No I'm not reminiscing the past or anything like that.I'm talking about 5 cute ladies from Sweden who formed a band and call themselves Those Dancing Days.The name by the way was derived from a Led Zeppelin song called "Dancing Days".I came to know about them a couple of years back and I've listened to their debut EP.Not only they look good,but they sound good too.You can check out their profile on Myspace Music like I did before and you'll soon agree that I'm not exaggerating when I say they're good.They released their full length studio album last year in October titled "In Our Space Hero Suits".Two tracks from the album that I'm already familiar with are,"Hitten" and "Those Dancing Days".Others from the EP include "1000 Words" and "Disc-hoe".I give it a two thumbs up!

Just wanna wish everyone...

2008-12-31T18:32:00.002+08:00

Happy New Year!

A design for life.

2008-10-22T03:44:00.002+08:00

The Manic Street Preachers will be performing for the first time ever here in Singapore at Fort Canning Park on the 24th of Nov 2008 at 8pm.The show will approximately last for 2 hours.Tickets are already on sale now at Sistic so better grab them while stocks last.You'd better plan your leave for that day kutu rock.

U.N.K.L.E

2008-09-22T22:52:00.002+08:00

James Lavelle will be performing here at Zouk Club on the 4th of October 2008.The group which is known for their edgy and wonderful remixes was formed in 1994 by Lavelle and Tim Goldsworthy,has been going on strong since.Other members include Masayuki Kudo and Toshio Nakanishi.Though the line up has changed from time to time,Lavelle remains as the prominent member of the group.With Richard File already leaving the group,it's not clear who's gonna be in the line up.But whoever it's gonna be.i'm sure it will be a great show.See you there.

My favourite ad for this year and maybe many years to come...

2008-09-20T02:37:00.002+08:00

For those who has Indonesian channels at home,this ad may look familiar.

The London Suede.

2008-09-16T03:24:00.003+08:00

"I don't care if you're black or blue.. Me and the stars stay up for you.."

Happy belated birthday to Mat Osman (Sept 10th) and happy birthday in advance to Brett Anderson (Sept 29th).The two founding members of SUEDE.

Jason Mraz and the others.

2008-06-21T21:16:00.002+08:00

I remembered the first time i heard his song "The Remedy" on radio and i said,"Wow! this is a bloody good song!" But when the song ended,the deejay didn't mentioned the artist's name and i had to look it up in the internet.And there it was,his name popped up in the search engine,Jason Mraz.But then i didn't bother to check out the rest of his songs on iTunes and boy it was a mistake.I say it's a mistake cos being a music lover,i was sure missing out on some other bloody good tunes.Until recently a long-time online buddy posted a video on my Facebook page of his other song titled "Life Is Beautiful" taken from his best selling album titled "Mr A-Z" released in 2005.My my,not only he writes good and beautiful songs,he sings them well too.

Born in 1977 in Virginia,he got a proper study and had a brief involvement in musical theater.Later he moved to San Diego for a while before returning back to Virginia to work on his debut album titled "Waiting For My Rocket To Come" with Elektra Records that 'rocketed' his name into the international music scene.Too bad i didn't catch him at the Mosaic Music Festival in 2006.

Anyway,this post is dedicated to my online buddy for sharing all the good tunes with me all this years.I tend to miss out on some good music or artist from time to time,but i'm glad i got friends like her to help me keep up and update my iTunes library.Thanks very much guys.I can't get enough of "Bella Luna".And yes,special thanks to my brother too.

In Rainbows.

2008-01-13T02:16:00.001+08:00

With producer Nigel Godrich,they once again come up with a spectacular new album that never fails to delight.Yes,i'm talking about Radiohead.Though this time round their mode of marketing the album is unconventional to some,the sales have been said to be very encouraging though the record company haven't released a report on the official figure.The band that has many imitators,but no peers."Nude" is currently second on the Itunes music charts.This song is growing on me.Thanks Nisa.

The sights and sounds of...

2007-12-24T22:09:00.000+08:00

Glastonbury Festival is one of the most happening and craziest festivals that we know of.Located in Somerset England,it has a population of nearly 9000 people and it's believed to be a sacred place with much myth and stories about Christ and the burial site of the holy grail.But that aside,it has also seen some great artists performing over the years.A festival where people from all walks of life come together and let go,or be themselves like some of them would say.Away from the mundane and monotonous life.High on music of all sorts and all sorts of high if you know what i mean.Gosh,will i ever be there?

i'm not indie,but this is fun.

2007-09-06T02:20:00.000+08:00

i am open-minded!

How indie are you? test by ridethefader

You're pretty knowledgeable about music in general. You like indie music, sure, but that's only part of it.
You'll listen to any old shit as long as it sounds good to you. You're not snobby about music at all, you
just like what you like. How boring. Curiously, this makes you popular with the opposite sex.

i don't care!

2007-08-25T02:40:00.000+08:00

Everybody goes through a transition in their lives.What does it mean to cross over to the other side?Was it something that you hoped for? For some,questions are the answers that they'll need.For others,they think they've got it all figured out.And just like in any movie,you think you know it,but you don't.

It is not a bad thing at all.We just have to learn to accept the facts and move on with whatever 'tools' or 'skills' tha we have.Just like playing the piano.If the transition of one key to another is well organized or composed,it will produce the most beautiful sound that you'll ever hear.Otherwise,lessons are what you'll need.

I may be able to strum a few chords on the guitar,but that doesn't mean i can play the piano.But we live our lives to our own tune and always hope that tomorrow's gonna be a better day.Let's do the Blue Danube Waltz!

2007-06-20T02:13:00.000+08:00

I received an email from Eventful the other day with regards to my petition that i post up on their website.It was a petition to bring The Cure in here for a concert.Well,i definitely don't think that my petition was the reason that they'll be coming down here cos it was less than 50 who signed it.But now the wait is finally over cos come 1st August,the lads from England will be here in this Lion City for their first ever performance.Already i heard that the tickets are selling out fast!This is a dream come true not just for me,but also to hundreds if not thousands of The Cure fans here.

Hmmm....i wonder if that's really the capacity of the fans here,or just a handful? But i doubt a handful would be able to bring them in.Anyways,here's a picture of the only founding member of the band.Constant changes in the line up.But he's the only constant member.I guess you already know who.

Death To Tyrants (2006).

2007-05-21T22:01:00.000+08:00

This week,one of the most influential alternative bands will be showcasing their massive concert here in singapore.The band known as Sick Of It All,will be playing at Far East Pavilion for one night only on the 25th.Going back to the year 1984,this band sure has the ability to rock your mind and body with their good thumping music and their powerful lyrics.And the best part of it all,our most influential hardcore band Stomping Ground will be the opening act for this great concert.These guys ain't no amateurs either.They're professional struggling musicians which has been around since 17 years ago.Why i say struggling?Cos that's how it is in this little lion city.So come on and support our local talents.But it's up to you to differ the poseurs from the genuine music makers.

he was from Big In Japan,Original Mirrors and Care,comes..

2007-04-15T03:57:00.000+08:00

Guitarist,singer and writer Ian Broudie started a perfect pop/rock band with The Lightning Seeds.This yet another great band from Liverpool (my favourite football team) back in the late 80's,made a breakthrough with their synth pop hit "Pure" which made to the UK top 20 and later followed by "The Life Of Riley".The 90's Britpop era was embellished by many great bands and albums,and 'Jollification' was said to be the critical success album for them.Hits like "Lucky You","Marvellous" and "Perfect" can be found on that album.

The Lightning Seeds line up had changed from time to time though to me the most notable would be Zak Starkey (son of Ringgo Starr) who joined them in 1997,then later left to join The Who.He recently toured with Oasis.There is much more that i would share bout this fabulous band but somehow my brain can't think of anything else to post.I'm gonna leave you guys with a video of the band covering a hit from The Turtles.

2007-04-06T02:34:00.000+08:00

Word has it that they're coming down in the middle of this year.My mind says don't count on rumours.. but somehow i feel it might be a dream come true.If it does happen,you would be happy too,right?

2007-02-21T01:35:00.000+08:00

I guess most of you know Radiohead.For those who don't,it's so sad.In case some of you didn't know,there have been many artist covering their songs or remaking them in a different genre.I guess it must be an honour to Thom Yorke and friends that their songs are not only being heard and appreciated,it has been sung in lotsa tunes and became a new hit on its own.The ones remaked by Eliza Lumley and in the Radiodread album captured my interest.It's just a matter of time before they'll be discovered by more and more music lovers out there.

Just like Nouvelle Vague.They never thought they would be making it big just by covering songs by other artist.I guess it's not such a bad thing after all if the songs don't stray too much from the original tunes.It is after all copyrighted.Permissions need to be obtained and ripping off will be severely dealt with i suppose.

Well,i remember growing up listening to local bands covering international hit songs.Like the original,the songs are catchy but only the lyrics are changed to our local language,malay.And i believe that in every other country in this universe will have their very own international hit songs sung in their own language.Music is universal remember?

Young folks..

2007-02-03T16:16:00.000+08:00

Peter Bjorn and John were formed in Stockholm, Sweden, in 1999. Made up of members Peter Morén on vocals, guitar and harmonica, Björn Yttling on vocals, bass, vocals and keyboards and John Eriksson on drums, percussion and vocals.The band is influenced by the sounds of classic '60s baroque pop, power pop, and new wave, but the guys are not reviving it. Instead they are creating some of the most exciting and original indie rock of the mid-2000s.

After releasing three singles (The Forbidden Chords EP, Failing and Passing, and I Don't Know What I Want Us to Do),the band released its self-titled first album in 2002 on the tiny Beat That! label. After more shows and more singles (People They Know, See Through) and an EP (100 M of Hurdles), the group jumped to the Planekonomi label in 2004 and released the Beats, Traps and Backgrounds EP. It was soon followed by the wonderful 2004 full-length release Falling Out, which was picked up for American release by Hidden Adenda in late 2005. The record placed them, along with the Concretes, the Shout Out Louds (both of whom Yttling has produced records for), and the Legends, at the forefront of the sparkling wave of great pop bands coming from Sweden.

After 26 years,it's still music for JAH people.

2007-01-10T22:50:00.000+08:00

Bob Marley was born Robert Nesta Marley on Feb. 6, 1945 in Saint Ann, Jamaica. His father, Norval Sinclair Marley, was a white Englishman and his mother, Cedelia Booker, was a black Jamaican. Bob Marley died of cancer in Miami, FL on May 11, 1981. Marley had 12 children, four by his wife Rita, and was a devout Rastafarian.

His songs tell tales of love,life,family and friends.Simple yet meaningful lyrics echoed in my mind everytime i look at the cover of his cds.It's no wonder that he's honored in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame and a Grammy Lifetime Achievement Award and also the Time Magazine's Album of the Century (for Exodus) and BBC's Song of the Millenium for "One Love".

His legacy lives on.

Music is my radar,i love you mum.

2007-01-05T02:36:00.000+08:00

Skills and experience are things that people can't take away from you.It'll stay with you until the day that you die.My work and life experinces has taught everything there is to know about going thru life.Whether you are sailing smoothly or struggling to make thru another day,it is essential to have those 'tools' to build another bridge to another side.Recent events that happened to me made me realized how short this life is.So for those who has the "i hate myself and i wanna die" syndrome,give yourself a bloody tight slap on your face to wake you up! If not,then it's so sad.

When i say that music is my life,i meant it like that.I guess it runs in my family. Since the day i learned to crawl into my late grandparent's bedroom.Music will always be heard in there before and after their prayers everytime.And of oos it ain't rock or modern music.Theirs would the traditional sounds of the malay heritage.But it's that music that accompanies them day by day thru the years.And i supposed it had a major influence on my uncles and aunties and my mum too.And yes,their types of music are of the different kind of cos as they were growing up during the 60's rock n roll era.But as they were brought up in a traditional malay village,they're aren't too exposed to the fads and fashion of their time.But still,fashion found them.The rest is history.

I remember growing up with my cousins listening to Boney M and Led Zeppelin.And yes,who can forget Abba.These were just some of the bands or artist that had an influence on me even though i was still too young to know what the hell they were singing about.But with the catchy phrase or stomping beats,i was really quick to recognize my favourite hits.Boy,i was only four when i saw the first Star Wars.How i wished i didn't disfigured all the storm troopers that i had.Hah..! I was a kid then.I'd never thought that i would be a Star wars collector.But it's all gone now.Can't cope with the ever so many characters and special editions.Furthermore i lack the space.It's enough with the few i have now.

As i grew older,i had my own liking to what music i listen.A brief stint of being a mat rocker sparked off a whole lot of music diversity in me.Soon i was into different music genres and it branched from one artist to another.Songs that would have a special place in my heart are the songs which had killer sounds and wonderful lyrics.I guess that's how music or lyrics should i say,somehow influenced on how i live my life and making my decisions.It may sound crazy to some,but that's the way it is.So far,it has been going great for me.It made me stay loyal to my family and friends and not to mistreat the fairweather ones.They'll have the taste of their own medicine.WHat goes around comes around.Music simply changes my perspectives i have on life without forgetting the values that has been instilled in me.Faith keeps me stronger.Everybody sins.

I tried to get jobs in the music industry but to no avail.So i had to stick to this engineering line for some time now.But alls good though.Maybe i'll just have to try harder and hope the opportunity will come for me.And i also hope to be able to catch my favourite artist in concert here or maybe i could fly over to see them anywhere,wherever they may be.This new year would bring me lotsa changes in my life which i thought would be greatful to my family.Memories will last forever but the atmosphere has to change.Forever missing the one i truly love and every song that reminds me of her.

And i still haven't made up my mind on whether i wanna catch MUSE in concert here.This can't be good.No,not the concert.MY TIME IS RUNNING OUT!!

Viva la Reds!

2006-12-12T20:36:00.000+08:00

It was another 4 goals at home after their away win last week.Yes,the Reds have done it again and i hope it's gonna stay like that for the rest of the games to come.Nope,i ain't talking about the Red Devils.I'm talking bout the pride of the merseyside,Liverpool.I've been their fan since the day my dad taught me how to study the premiership standings table.It was more than 20 years ago.Like most other english teams,Liverpool Football Club has a rich history dating back more than a 100 years.And it was from this place too that the most famous and loved band in the whole world was born.Yeah,the original scousers,The Beatles.And so began the revolution of rock n roll.Though i have to agree that the indie pop scene evolves around Manchester.Okay,you can wipe that smirk off your face!

I'm really sure that the Reds' gonna make it again in Europe even though their domestic games have not been much to expectation.But like i said earlier,i hope they will continue to play the way they did for the last two weeks.You go lads! I am just another one of the twelfth man.

Here are some of the bands or artist from the merseyside:

*The Beatles
*Big In Japan
*Black
*The Boo Radleys
*Cast
*The Coral
*Dead Or Alive
*The Dead 60's
*Echo And The Bunnymen
The Farm
*Flock Of Seagulls
*Frankie Goes To Hollywood
*Gerry And The Peacemakers
*The La's
*Lightning Seeds
*Ladytron
*Space

and the latest addition to the list,The Zutons.Think i can do without the Happy Mondays.

First of the gang to say......

2006-12-11T22:49:00.000+08:00

Two years ago,MANCHESTER music legend Morrissey sparked controversy when he announced Ronald Reagan's death live on stage during a concert - and then declared he wished it was George Bush who had died instead.Thousands of fans at Dublin Castle, in Ireland, cheered when the ex-Smiths frontman made the announcement that the former American president, who had battled with Alzheimer's Disease, had passed away.

Morrissey who is no stranger to controversy then said he wished it had been the current President, George W Bush, who had died.The crowd went wild after he spouted those words.

A spokesman for Morrissey's record label, Sanctuary Records, said: "We do not have a recording of the gig, but as far as we can tell, Morrissey was just alerting the audience to the fact that Ronald Reagan had died.The rest was his opinion."

MUSE In Singapore.

2006-12-10T12:03:00.000+08:00

I was going through a tough phase in life which we all can't run away from.Time is of the essence for me to get through this ordeal.But life has to go on and thus i'm posting this news about one of my favourite bands.

Come 16th Jan 2007,another band from the UK will be making their presence felt here.It's another much anticipated concert by yet another great band,MUSE.The English rock trio Muse consists of guitarist/vocalist Matthew Bellamy, bassist Chris Wolstenholme, and drummer Dominic Howard.Born in the small and not so exciting town of Teignmouth, Devon, the three friends began playing music together.They finally found their magic touch when they were 13, changing the name of the group from Gothic Plague to Fixed Penalty to Rocket Baby Dolls as time goes by. By 1997, the band settled on the name Muse and released their self-titled debut EP on Dangerous Records, followed by the Muscle Museum EP later in 1998.They then signed a deal with Maverick Records. Singles like "Cave" and "Uno" preceded their debut full-length album, Showbiz, which was released towards the end of 1999 and two years later, Muse issued The Origin of Symmetry and had a major hit with "Hyper Music". In 2002, fans were treated to the double-disc live set Hullabaloo. Muse's fourth album, Absolution, got the usual royal treatment upon its late-2003 release. Homeside fans finally got a taste of Absolution when it was released on Warner Bros the following March. A short North American tour in the spring coincided Muse's spot on the fifth annual Coachella Music and Arts Festival in May 2004. Their fifth effort, 2006's Black Holes and Revelations, marked the band's brightest, most dynamic set of material to date. Within a week of its release, the band topped the U.K. album charts, earning their second consecutive number one album.

Seriuosly,i will try to be at their concert.But for the rest of you out there,you wouldn't want to miss this spectacular band.Their live recordings dvd is just a sample of their musical spectrum that will blow your mind away.

2006-10-18T21:22:00.000+08:00

It'll be new year in two months and this year had seen some fabulous shows and concerts which i thought would never make it to this small island.Recent ones would be Slayer and Yngwie Malmsteen.This two powerhouses are distintive in their own way of making and writing music.I remember head-bangin' the night away at the Metallica concert some years back.It was the most phenomenal performance and certainly a night to remember.From then on i was hoping to see more phenomenal acts coming down to our little city.But i guess that over the past few years,we're lucky enough to catch some of the big names in the music industry.Be it a solo concert or an event,we were entertained.

Come January 2007,Eric Clapton will be in town.This guitar maestro has certainly came a long way since his rock n rollin' days.You wouldn't want to miss this one.And after that,if only Thom Yorke and friends could drop by... Possible,no?

2006-10-04T20:39:00.000+08:00

Their names are Craig Wellington (vocals/guitar), Stuart Jones (guitar), Daley Smith (bass) and Matthew Gwilt (drums).They are 23, 22, 25 and 22 in that order.The latest thing to come out from Leeds music scene.Together they're known as The Sunshine Underground.Debut album 'Raise The Alarm' out now.Check them out!

2006-09-02T01:13:00.000+08:00

Yes.they're out with a new album.Meanwhile,check out the video.

2006-08-17T21:57:00.000+08:00

First founded by Brett Anderson and Mat Osman in 1989,they ended it all in 2003.A sad year for me then.Come on come on .. move on move on!And yes,Brett is bisexual.But he claims that he's never fucked a lad.Style of a woman,kiss of man ehh.. His lyrics touches me though.

2006-07-25T18:27:00.000+08:00

They are indeed one of the important bands of the decade.Frankly,I disliked them initially.Maybe I was too quick to judge.Not anymore now.Can't wait for "Stop The Clocks".

2006-07-22T16:34:00.000+08:00

This is something i can embrace.

2006-07-22T15:51:00.000+08:00

The revolution of music has come a long way since Frank Sinatra or The Beatles era.There is so much to choose from now,evidence that somebody is working on something every damn minute.Though it may be good to some,others aren't that enthusiastic.They feel that only the sounds that they listen to are fit to called 'proper music'.But they tend to forget the diversity of the sounds altogether.I guess to really appreciate it means that you really have to open up your mind and embrace the beautifulness of it all.But what do you think about the group of people who made 'music' from vegetables??Is it ridiculous or brilliant??That is something that i failed to embrace.Guess i'm not that appreciative after all huh... But I ain't the one criticizing either.

Be it playing a musical instrument or making it just by tapping some buttons or gadgets,someone's working on something everyday.Who's the modern day Herbie Hancock you reckon?And which band or artist who's really playing good ol' rock and roll or is it just a Beatle's fad?Is there any enthralment left in the music that we listen to nowadays??You be the judge.All i'm saying is,there's a whole lot of flavours out there that is making the vintage lose it's 'taste'.Opinions may vary,so does the notes.This is just a post to reconstruct my 'tastebuds'.Gonna get me a couple of carrots and beat on the melons.Have a nice day.

2006-05-23T22:45:00.000+08:00

Carl Barat - guitars/vox

Gary Powell - drums

Anthony Rossomando - guitars/backing vox

Didz Hammond - bass/backing vox

Together they're known as Dirty Pretty Things.Check them out.It's good.

2006-05-20T20:57:00.000+08:00

Fuck all the pseudo-intellects!Go somewhere else to choose your music,your trends,your friends.Don't come and ruin a perfectly good circle of friends.You don't dictate anything and you can't possibly control the lives of others.The only life you can control is your own and which you have failed to do.You need the 'not so bright people' to make you feel good about yourself don't ya..?Please go away from the common people.You're too 'bright' for us!

As far as music is concerned,i believe it's universal.It is meant to be enjoyed.There's no boundaries.So why set boundaries of your own?Just listen to what you like and don't give a fuck about what others say about you not being able to understand or 'dig' the songs.Remember when you were young and you witnessed first hand how your mother became a fan of Hindi tunes.She never had a clue of what the lyrics of the song meant.But did she grew tired of it?No siree..

Really can't understand the people nowadays.He quit listening to his favourite band cos someone told him he wasn't 'bright' enough to understand the concept of the songs,let alone the lyrics.Meaning he has to go and learn the language first?Absofuckinglutely not right?!

Stay away pseudo fucks!Go ruin your own life!

2006-05-12T21:18:00.000+08:00

I think they're a great band.Come meet the rest of the locals.

2006-04-26T20:55:00.000+08:00

Much has been said about the new Kula Shaker album.This is something i'm really looking forward and anticipating.The Jeevas which was originally formed by Crispian Mills was somewhat not as good as his original band.I suppose many would agree on that and that i ain't talking bull.They (Kula Shaker) have been quiet for quite some time now,prolly trying out on new stuffs or taking a break.All i can say is,they've had their rest and it's about time they satisfy the thirst of their worldwide fans.It is time Kings!

Come May,there'll be a couple of concerts that i'm looking forward to attend.One of such,is from Toto.First time i heard their single "Rosanna" some years back,i knew that this band had more experience than just the music.Though i heard them first on the radio,but it was a friend of mine who introduced me to the band.And when i say that.i meant it like a metaphor.I have never met the band of course!He said that each of the band members could play many kinda instruments.I hope i could catch them upclose come 16th of May.Maybe i could experience another handshake from a famous musician just like the one i had with Andy Bell.The band will be playing at Fort Canning Park,which is i think is the best place to hold a concert.Even though we'll be at the mercy of the weather.Hope it'll be a cool but not drizzly night on that date.

And come June,a band from down under would be performing at The Esplanade.They're called Cat Empire.I just got to know about them when i met my ex-schoolmate a month ago.He explained to me on how the band could fuse a mix of genre in their music but still attaining the 'flavour' of the song.Really danceable and catchy he said.Can't wait for this one too.And last but not least,is the band Mogwai.These scotsman have magic in their music i would say.I reckon that those who have Sigur Ros in their cd collection,would have this band's album too.Maybe you would say that there's no connection at all or whatever,but it's what i think.And their rendition of Guns n Roses' "Don't Cry" is fabulous.For those who don't know them,come see them on the 1st of August.You'll definitely see me there.

2006-04-09T22:46:00.000+08:00

Find your favourite quotes here.

2006-03-28T23:18:00.000+08:00

My oh my..it's so damn tiring holding on to two jobs.But I'll just have to hang on till I finally achieve my goal.And no,it's not about 'carik duit khemah' or anything like that.Just wanna have a much more smoother cash flow that is.And speaking of cash,how often do you shop for clothes?I guess ladies do have much more fashion trends thus some of them just can't slow down on the habit.Anyway it's alright to pamper yourself once in a while.And when do you shop for clothing,are you keeping up with the trend or do you just buy what you like impulsively?Well,I am one of the latter.Sometimes I just buy stuff that catches my fancy.How silly is that?COs you see,I don't really have a fashion sense.Not that good at least.I've been wearing the same kinda look for as long as I can remember.Jeans and tees.Which of course a lotta of you are wearing out there too.That's why I have a problem when attending formal functions.My wardrobe sucks!

Fashion is a good thing if you're not overdoing it.Sometimes when you walk down the street,I bet you can see some of them wearing either too flashy or just over the top.I guess it's good if you're comfortable with what you wear or even dare to wear it for that matter.Lotsa times I feel kinda insecure when I wanna imitate my music idols' fashion.I mean,you know,dress like what you see in the music mags.To me that's how I experiment with clothes.Like I said,my fashion sense's kinda weak.But you'll have to be realistic too.You can't possibly be wearing winter clothes in a tropical country like this.Will look kinda stupid won't it?Maybe for the weekends' movie outing can be considered.Cos it could be really really cold in the theatres.But still not as cold like the winter,so be sure not to overdo it.

Still on fashion,I guess some people wear what they listen.I mean,showing people what they're diggin nahm sayin....hehe!.That's how you see lotsa different styles and different hairdo to compliment the clothes.Trash,grunge,slacker,punk and everthing else that goes with the music genre.So how do you dress classical then?Don't know?Me neither..hahaha!So why bother right?Just wear what you want.But tell you something though,not everything is what it seems.How do you explain a trash-looking guy listening to rap music on his headphones?Believe me,he was sitting beside me in the train.So does he have to change his dressing just because he's into rap now?Yeah,I don't think so.Just be original.Who's into J-pop?Yeah,the two countries are at loggerheads now.Do they give a damn?Nah...

So,what is fashion to ya?Is it just a fad,or everything is?Do you wear your clothes or you let your clothes wear you?Heard that somewhere??Me too.It's just another post so sleep on it.Cheers!

soundfeed:candygirl by Babybird.

2006-03-25T18:02:00.000+08:00

I guess this post goes out to the people whose above the age of 25 or so.I wanna talk about the local gigs that you might've watched ten years ago or before that.How was it then?I guess most of us would've stayed untill the end regardless of who's playing cos obviously most of us were music lovers or should i say,supporters of the local scene.Usually it would start in the late afternoons and would drag till not too late at night.At the end of each gig,people would give kudos to the bands that performed and wishing them the best for the future.Living in a country where slamdancing is banned,it's kinda hard to enjoy an alternative gig.How could you just sit there and watch,being restraint of doing those crazy moves that goes along with the music.It would be like watching a play or an opera for that matter.It's really hard isn't it?Your adrenalin is rushing like crazy but you just gotta have to bottle it all up.But at the end of it all,you still manage to enjoy the whole experience.Anyway,not everyone is into slamdance or anything of that sort.It's all about the music remember?

For those of you who are in your late twenties or thirties,whose been to any of the local gigs during your younger days,how do you feel about the local scene now?Is it still like before?Or has it changed dramatically over the years?And if you've ever attended the gigs now,what do you think of the bands and the crowds now?Are the bands any good or they just have too much air in the heads?How bout the audience?Well i guess some of them are there just to support their favourite and don't care two hoots about the other bands.Be it the old ones,or the new ones,good or bad.But then again,who can blame them?Everyone's entitled to their opinions or likings.Who are we to judge or ask them to stay till the end?And is there such a thing as groupies here?Well i don't think so.Or maybe i'm wrong.But like Noel sang,"but please don't put your life in the hands,of a rock n roll band,and throw it all away..." For whatever that means,it could be referring to all of us and not just them groupies.Songs might have a different meaning to every one of us.Guess you'll have to ask Noel yourself on what he's talking about won't ya?

Of course different countries have a different approach to upgrading or supporting their local scene.While some bands might find it kinda easy to be discovered,others will have to wait for a long long time to even be noticed.I guess playing music in this country can't be a full time job.Unless of course you were born with a silver spoon in your mouth.You can't possibly spend your day writing or getting materials for your next album.And yes,maybe we feel envious on people who can afford to do that.And to know also that they weren't born rich,just being at the right place at the right time.Guess the grass is still greener on the other side.But whatever it is,i am proud of our local bands.They can write their own songs and eventually use money from their own fund to come out with an album.But of course,the demos comes first.Whether or not they're good or bad,i am ready to attend the gigs.But to all the bands without identity or copycats,come on mate!Crack that little brain of yours and come up with something original.Even better,write from your heart.Yeah...just pencil down whatever's inside and before you know it,you already have an original material.And you can be proud of it.Make a firm stand here first before even dreaming of playing outside of this country.Make sure it's a passion and not just following the trend.If everyone is picking up a guitar,should you too?

This post is based entirely on my point of views.What i've seen,heard or talked about with some of the people that's been around long enough in the local scene.I believe that our country can produce some good bands that we can be proud of.Though not all are in the mainstream,but i'm pretty damn sure that some songs are being heard somewhere in the four corners of the world.It's such a shame that support here is quite scarce..especially from the bodies or firm that could promote them.And as far as the local scene is concerned,i believe that we still need to improve on some aspects and not to be too fast to criticize.Although i know that sometimes it might be quite hard to ignore the ignorants,doing it will be bliss won't it?Like what an old friend of mine would say,"what is your definition?"

I'm still learning myself.

2006-02-27T22:28:00.000+08:00

February 23rd was a day that i'll never forget.Been waiting for so long to see my favourite band in action,that day it happened.I was one of the anxious fans who came early in hoping to catch a glimpse of them and boy it got better!Not only did i saw them,i even shook hands with the one who 'created' "Vapour trail".Yes yes..it was Andy Bell.Me and my mates were star strucked indeed that we didn't even know what to say to him.Maybe some people got better luck to meet and greet him closer,but that was more than enough for us.He actually approached us when we called out his name and shook our hands one by one and said,"Hows it goin mate?" Can you fuckin believe that?! THE Andy Bell!Boy i felt like a schoolboy again.A schoolboy who went to a gig for the first time.Immersed in the excitement and noise from the screaming fans.I guess that was the icing on the cake.Not to mention the power performance by the band itself.

That was OASIS.

2006-01-29T19:51:00.000+08:00

That day i received an e-mail from this Suede fans webbie that i can't remember when did I sign up with.Anyway,basically the contents of the e-mail was telling the recipients of the whereabouts of the then Suede members.I'm sure by now a lotta ya would've known that Brett is getting on well with the release of The Tears self-titled debut album.How i'd love listening to his voice,accompanied by the best guitarist in the band (from Suede and now,to me at least) Bernard Butler.I thought the album was under-rated though.Or is it over-rated??I don't know..let's just leave that to the music critics aye.. They all sound great to me :)

Each and every one of the ex-Suede members had their own projects in hand.It was a sad thing for me that they broke up.But i knew that they would never be 'out of sight'.I'll try to keep track of them and their project bands,if any.Cos they'll always be my favourite.

Come february,there'll be a string of happening events in and out of the country.For starters,there'll be this concert in bangkok where it'll be showcasing the big names there is in indie music or rock.And two of the bands will be performing here in s'pore.How great is that?!Paul Van Dyk's gonna drop by tomorrow for his gig at Zouk.No wonder i keep saying that it's all happening quite late for me.Or was i somewhere else??Whatever it is,guess i'm lucky to still be alive to witness all of it.Which comes to the next question which my friends and relatives keep on asking,when am i gonna settle down?And like Mustaffa in Austin Powers 2,"I spit at that question!" Hahahahaha... Chill O' my loved ones... You gotta be really really ready for this kinda shit.Marriage ain't for show.It's commitment and everything else that comes with it.Don't ever forget that.Let's move on shall we..?

Right now i'm saving up a bit to refurnish my room.Lately I've been visiting those home furnishing stores and getting tips from a friend.She knows where to get the great bargains and where to go if i'm looking for something in particular.But you know it ain't a cheap thrill.The prices if accumulated could reach thousands of dollars.But i ain't looking at that figure.I'm not up to that kinda spending.I'm just a common man who wants to get some common furniture for his common room.Nothing uncommon about that ain't it??But sometimes i'll be over-budget when shopping for cds.Damn i gotta control myself.

Right now i'm listening to Aha's "Sowing the seeds of love".Great track this one.Eighties music will never die in me.Anyone feeling Mambo Jambo??Till then,sayonara!

correction on 30/01/06:The song is actually by Tears for Fears not Aha.My bad my bad..

2006-01-21T03:14:00.000+08:00

It is happening.It is something that i've been waiting for such a long time.And now it's happening and i can't get enough of it.Am i the only one?Only Smarties have the answer.Love you all.

Do you remember the first time??

2006-01-15T17:15:00.000+08:00

I guesss it's good if you strive to be the best that you can be.Excel at work and get recognition for your hardwork.Bet it will make you the happiest person in the world won't it??Everybody's doin it,so why can't you?But Everyone has their own way of getting things done.Some do it the right way,while others take a 'shortcut'.Polish them balls boy!Lick that boot girl!Or just charm your way through.Whatever it is,i always believe that everybody has the right to do whatever they wish to do.It is your RIGHT!You have the right to backstab,to 'kill',to manipulate and do whatever else that comes to mind.Just as long you know how to hide your secrets.Don't go blabbing about it to someone you think you can trust.In fact,you should never breath a word about it to anyone.But that's the trouble with some people isn't it?They don't know how to keep their secrets.It's only a matter of time before everyone knows about it.Then they're doomed.

Know when to exercise your rights.And know who are you dealing with.Some may look harmless.But in actual fact,they're the big devils.Master of servant.They'll make use of you without you even knowing it.Damn it's a cruel world.But you gotta live right?So you gotta do what you gotta do.Don't let anything stop you.Not even your conscience.Never mind if it's not clear.You're already conceited.You are standing on top of the world.You've got everything on your fingertips.You'll be happy.You should be.Right?

Deceit.lies,hypocritism...etc.It's all around,just like love.Which one will you choose??

Go exercise your rights man.

2005-12-25T22:01:00.000+08:00

Tomorrow will be exactly a year since the tsunami tragedy.How the places and people were greatly affected by it and how it really changed the turning of events that happened recently.Although many lives were lost,but it did bring some good changes to some parts of the country and certainly strengthen the bonds between one human to another.I'm really glad that we were one of the countries that quickly responded and lend a helping hand to the countries that were hit.Even though not all could be there to do voluntary works,help certainly comes in many forms.God bless to all that helped and let's hope and pray that those victims would recover from the aftermath and their lives be alright again.Though it's not as easy as it sounds,it's a phase gone thru by every human beings.Love spreads.

And it's gonna be a new year soon.My...how time flies.I feel like it's going faster and faster by the seconds.And it'll be a year soon too for me working in this new place.I must say that i really learnt quite a number of new things here.And i certainly learn on how to interact well with others.Not that i don't play well with others before,but "sharpening" the skills if you know what i mean.You can't be too proud or snobbish if you wanna have a good rapport with fellow colleagues or guest for that matter.But i noticed that all it's not what it may seem.Some are like....beautiful outside but rotten on the inside.Smile a thousand smiles,but they don't mean it.It's so hard to understand fellow humans sometimes.You think you know a person,boy aren't you wrong.It takes forever.Hey,who knows that maybe someone is trying to comprehend me too :) Well,aren't we all?

And finally the Gallagher brothers are coming down here.But not before they make a stop at bangkok first i think.Yeah yeah ,that's it.And i hope that my plans to go there would go smoothly with no hiccups.It's about time that i get out of the country.Don't ask.I hope there will be more great bands coming down here in the future.Not just brit bands,but others too.Like in january 2006,Dream Theatre's gonna be here to perform.In case for some of you who don't have a clue who they are,well they are one of those great rock bands around.Yeah baby....ROCK!!Mesti baik punya!I just love going to concerts.I mean,it's the only time that you can see your favourite artist upclose (if you are one of those fellows in the free-standing area that is).But even if you're in the seating area at the back,you still get the whole exciting experience won't ya..? So it don't matt-uhh.Just relish.

Concerts,new technologies,nuclears,war,disease...and many more that we bring into the heart of mother earth.Wonder how long can she hang on.Love spreads.

2005-08-14T00:13:00.000+08:00

Maybe I've forgotten the name and the address
Of everyone I've ever known
It's nothing I regret
Save it for another day
It's the school exam and the kids have run away

I would like a place I could call my own
Have a conversation on the telephone
Wake up every day that would be a start
I would not complain of my wounded heart

I was upset you see
Almost all the time
You used to be a stranger
Now you are mine

I wouldn't even trust you
I've not got much to give
We're dealing in the limits
And we don't know who with
You may think that I'm out of hand
That I'm naive, I'll understand
On this occasion, it's not true
Look at me, I'm not you

I would like a place I could call my own
Have a conversation on the telephone
Wake up every day that would be a start
I would not complain of my wounded heart

I was a short fuse
Burning all the time
You were a complete stranger
Now you are mine

I would like a place I could call my own
Have a conversation on the telephone
Wake up every day that would be a start
I would not complain about my wounded heart

Just wait till tomorrow
I guess that's what they all say
Just before they fall apart

Regretted anything lately??I love this song.I bet you too.

2005-07-28T19:27:00.000+08:00

"Only the strongest will survive.." - that's a song that i'm really familiar with.I'm sure that others might know it too and would probably be able to relate to the lyrics of that song.It's one of those songs that might be able to motivate in some way i guess...cos for me it does.Apart from keeping my faith to the ONE,it's music that really keeps me going.I couldn't go out or do things without 'torturing' my eardrums.Never will you ever see me walking down the streets without earphones around my neck.Yeah yeah...you too.Now i know why they say that life without music would be a mistake.

Music to me has a lot of meaning.It really helps me to forget the stressful life that i'm going through.Being in a place where slacking is not an option,i've been trying hard to make it through the day sometimes.Though i know that i'm not the worst case,but i know that it's not only me that's going through the same phase in life.While others are brimming with excitement all the time,some are just contented to be around nature and smell the air.It's not clean though..hehehe.Though i'm just another brick on the wall,it's this wall that separates me from the masses.I don't care to be hip or 'in' with the crowd..and i don't care if the crowd don't give two hoots about me....i just wanna walk by and try to make sense of this life.Cos all this while things happen with no common sense.Like why did they have to kill others to make thmeselves heard??Or why do they wanna create weapons that could very well destroy mother earth??Or why does my friend keeps whining about his girlfriend going out when he's having a drink with me together with his sex partner??WHY??WHY??Does it make sense to you??So spare me the animosity or hypocrisy for i'm just another no one.

You see,i was with the crowd.It was with them that i learned so much about human's behaviour.I'm not going to pretend to be a bad boy if i'm not nor will i pretend to be an angel.I'll just be who i am.I know some people might not like who i am,but it's okay.At least i'll know who's my friend and who's not.No pretence and no misunderstandings.But frankly,i never chose my friends.The friends that i have now are the people that really perks me up.There's no facade in our friendship cos everything just flows out like water.Honesty is the name of the game.But i'd lie if it was to salvage a situation.No wars please...the world needs more love now more than ever.So let's not add another 'casualty'.Let's play five stones :)

As much as i want to be happy,life isn't about that.You will face sadness and pain but it won't last forever of cos.For those who does,i'm deeply sorry.These past few weeks have really tested every part of me.My body,my mind and my soul.Yeah,my soul.There was a moment of time when this body feels so empty without a soul.I was like a zombie.Things that used to work for me don't work no more.I was so lost and was at the end of the road.I tried drowning myself in alcohol but it just won't go away.It was so stupid of me,i know.I should've been praying and let the true light shine on my soul.But instead i confided in the devil.The devil don't care about you or me.Though it will grant you happiness but it's actually attracting you to the life of a drowner.Mistakes after mistakes but still i won't learn.What the hell is the matter with me??I don't know.And this time round,Smarties don't have the answer.It never did.But this ain't the first time.And each time i'd be repeating the same mistakes again and again.But what can i say...it's so stressful.Where did i go wrong?And though i try so hard to make things right,there will always be something to damper me down.Sigh.... I was sliding down the 'rainbow' when the care bears came and took it away from me.Damn them to HELL!

Luckily i'm always able to remain cool.I'd be walking down the streets again in no time.Watching the rat race after joining it and facing the music of another day.Problems are inevitable.It's like death.No matter where you go,you can never escape it.it's easier to escape from monster in-laws.Because i know i'll get over it soon.So why so sad??Tears won't bring back the dead,love won't keep you alive and we don't live forever.So suck it up and buckle up,enjoy the ride.And it's okay if you're forgotten.Cos the forgotten ones shall rule the world!! Somebody said that to me before...:)

2005-02-13T15:45:00.000+08:00

I can't remember the last time i had a bloody good time.But two weeks ago was one of those nights.I was with a whole bunch of beautiful and colourful people dancing and singin to the beautiful tunes.I may have had a little too much to drink but it didn't really 'weigh' my head down.I was jumping and screaming like a little boy and even landed on the pool table...sorry bout that mate.But no,it's not the common sounds that you hear from all the clubs elsewhere.It has a specific date,time and place for these kinda nights.I'd like to thank all the friends that kept me updated on this event.Yeah...they were very much 'drowned' in it too.Helluva good time ain't it??

I'm certainly looking forward to the next one.I don't care about the frictions that goes on between some of them.And i certainly don't have the say in choosing who gets to go and who don't.I just want everyone to be happy and cherish every moments that we get to spend together.The world's not gonna last forever mate!Practice no animosity please... I know i ain't no angel myself and i'm not gonna be the middleman in any case.I'm just a garage flower..hahahaahaa! I can say that right?? Of cos i can! Who's to say??

I have to go now but I'll certainly be back soon.Sayonara!

2005-01-09T18:32:00.000+08:00

It's been over a week now since we usher in the new year.Sombre some say.I must admit it is..the nature disaster that happened quite close to home.And we're just a small dot on the map.Lucky are we??I try to catch the news everyday to get the latest updates on the aftermath.It sure is bloody painful to lose someone you love ain't it??Watch the scattered bodies everywhere and the hopeful looks on the faces of those hoping to see their loved ones again.Sufferings in an instant.It's an irony that i love the song so much.Tsunami.

I just finished my duty and wasting time for a while.So i took the opportunity to update this favourite space of mine.It's been raining almost everyday and i just love it.But it's funny how that it doesn't give the sense of elation that i always felt whenever it pours.Am i feeling the pain too??I don't know.It's strange that i don't have the answer to that question.Sometimes i don't know what i'm feeling anymore.I'm numb.And the people around me are not responding well either.Just the other day i had a tiff with my brother.They say that blood is thicker than water.That is why i find it so hard to retailiate cos i don't wanna hurt him.Is that the right way to show your love??I think not.This time round i did and it's not long before regret sets in.Damn!!Why keep humming about giving and taking when nobody's practising it??!!Fuck them feelings!!I guess it would be better if it's sold in vending machines.Buy me some simon!

Right now i'm still thinking if i wanna go home or go chill.A colleague of mine who's off duty today invited me to join with a couple of other friends.I don't know who they are cos it's friends of his.But i suppose they're good good people.Maybe i'll join them since i got nothing else on and i ain't tired.I'll update again soon.Have a gd week ahead everyone.

2004-12-25T23:40:00.000+08:00

Wow...it's been a long time indeed.Too many things happened at one time.But fortunately it's all good.Now i'm back in the rat race again and i'm very happy at my new werking place.And thanks to my good fren that i got this job.Currently i'm doing office hours till maybe the end of january 2005.But watever it is,i'm doin good and happy.

I wonder how my online friends are doin.I hope you guys are in the pink of health and everything's aok.New year's just around the corner.What's your new year's resolution??Frankly,i never make any cos i know there won't be much changes than the previous year.Maybe i can't be bothered with this kinda stuff cos i know i will make things happen when i want it to.Maybe some of us share the same sentiments or we don't at all.Anyway it don't matter.I was just guessing.No....not numbers and figures.

An ex-colleague of mine got married two weeks ago.Sadly i couldn't make it to his place cos i was werking on that weekend.I called him up the next day to explain but as i guessed,he understood.I wish him all the best in his marriage and hopefully more blessings for him in the future.He's a great guy and a great friend.He asked me when is my turn and i just gave him a chuckle.The most asked question in my life now.Wassup with these ppl??Sigh... Ya ya...maybe they're just concerned.Most common reason.

Actually i'm still at my workplace cos i wanna use the computer and also to catch the saturday night's edition of the EPL.This could be my second home i tell ya...I've got all the bare essentials here.Speaking of essentials,take a listen to the new albums by Embrace and Manic Street Preachers.If you ask me,i'd say it's worth the buy.I'm currently in love with the track by Embrace called 'Gravity'.I'm sure you guys have heard it by now.It's getting a lot of airplay lately.From Power 98 to be exact.

It's getting late now and my eyes are getting heavy.Tomorrow is another working day for me.As a matter of fact,i won't be getting any off day till new year's eve.And i'll be standing by on that night too.It's good cos then i won't be spending money trying to find a good time elsewhere.Food and Drinks will be on the house.I can take as many i want.Ok then...that'll be all now.Have a good night and i'll update soon.Sayonara.

2004-10-30T22:31:00.000+08:00

I can't stay away from my blog too long.It's been a while now and that's bcos i've been busy taking care of things.There's still a lot more to be done and i sure need more time.Glad to know that rockstar's back safe and sound."Dah gi geylang cik kak??"Well..all i can say is the feeling's not the same as before and it's sure is boring just to browse around.

It's two weeks in the holy month and before long it's the big day.Preparations for me is zilch and i'm still struggling to be back in the rat race.It's so damn hard but i can't give up of course.I miss the late night chats in msn and reading comments in 'ruangku'.To cut it short,i miss all my online friends.Hope everyone's doing fine and in the pink of health.Right now i'm at a friend's place.We're just chilling out watching movies and glued on the X-box.I'm gonna go home right after i'm done posting.Feeling kinda tired and sleepy all of a sudden.Weekends just don't mean nothing now cos happy days are always.

I got not much to say for now.It's kinda funny cos i feel there's a lot that i wanna share.Maybe the ambience's not right and i'm distracted by the constant shouting from the game freaks.I'll be sure to update soon and i leave you guys with the lyrics from The Flaming Lips' "Do You Realize".Maybe i'm the last one to know about this song but i wanna share it anyways.

Do you realize
That you have the most beautiful face?
Do you realize
We're floating in space?
Do you realize
That happiness makes you cry?

Do you realize
That everyone you know someday will die?
And instead of saying all of your good-byes
Let them know you realize that life goes fast
It's hard to make the good things last
You realize the sun doesn't go down
It's just an illusion caused by the world spinning round

Do you realize?

Do you realize
That everyone you know someday will die?
And instead of saying all of your good-byes
Let them know you realize that life goes fast
It's hard to make the good things last
You realize the sun doesn't go down
It's just an illusion caused by the world spinning round

Do you realize
That you have the most beautiful face?

Do you realize?

2004-10-09T21:15:00.000+08:00

My oh my...it's the weekend again.Time pass so fast and here i am still trying to put things back in order.I feel like i've completed only 5% of it.Damn....i need to buck up and get it done real quick.Soon it'll be the fasting month and before you know it,it's 2005.Are we nearing the end?? Maybe.

There are some interesting events coming up soon.I'm really really interested in going to find out more info related to something which i've longed wanted to do.They say it's good to have dreams and visions in order to propel us to the next level.I'm sure i'm not the only dreamer in the world and i'm also sure that we have visions for our future.But all of that would be nothing without effort right??Am i teaching the duck to swim here?? No...of cos not.I'm just talking to myself.

Gotta get my coffee now.Enjoy your weekend and buenas noches.

soundfeed:she's in fashion by Suede.

2004-10-08T00:38:00.000+08:00

I haven't been posting much lately.There's so much i wanna say but i just don't know where to start.And as usual,i've been having sleepless nights and my days are really not that productive.I'll start off the mornings with less breakfast or sometimes none at all and start flipping the Classified pages.Jobs everywhere i must say but unless you can speak mandarin,chances are you won't even get entertained over the phone.Word has it that a lotta of local companies are expanding in China and so they gotta find chinese-speaking candidates to work with their chinese counter-parts.That's what i heard but i don't know how far it's true.So now you gotta learn the language to get the job.But of course not all companies or jobs requires you to have that advantage.Or maybe go for some treatments and be as fair as Michael Jackson.Brings a whole new meaning to the song 'Black or White' or 'Ebony and Ivory'.No.....both are good songs....but is it about skin colour??Only Smarties have the answer.

Last weekend i went to Devil's Bar with my bro and friends.It was ok and we had fun.We went for supper after that.And yesterday i met up with my new friend.New cos it was only like two months or so and it was our 2nd time meeting.It was all good and i had two of my mates joining us later on and we went to see a movie.It was quite a lame movie.The sort of movie which you'll know what's going to happen in the end.But hey,ain't most or all of the movies the same??I'll let you be the judge to that.Unlike P.Ramlee movies,the movies nowadays don't really have the x-factor.So,after the movies,my new friend headed home while i continued with my mates to Muhd.Sultan to club.There i go again..

I'm sure the whole world knows about the marriage of the Prince of Brunei.His bride was a 17yr old commoner..sweet sweet 17yr old that is.Reminds me of the question that my friend asked and the silly discussion that we had about this.Silly cos we were joking about it and we had this scenario like what if the prince was a commoner too.A 30yr old man asking the hand in marriage of a 17yr old girl.Would she accept it??Or would the guy gets a mouthful from her parents??What are the possibilities?? Was the girl marrying the prince cos of status or was it love??Well.. as always,only smarties have the answer.

Life is full of questions and answers.Or is it the questions that we need to make it through??Ask yourself a question and go hunt for the answers.The answer would be the solutions to our problems and therefore the questions are the answers that we need.Maybe a few times you come across something that is way beyond your control and you're scared that you don't have control over your life.Well i get that too but you know what?? I don't fret cos i feel that it happened for a reason and that i must be thankful that i don't have control over it.Everybody wants to have control over their life.But when given the chance,a lot of them fail.Do you face that too??
I know at some point of my life i did.But lucky i got pointers from people that care.So i just hold on to my faith tight and carry on.I have to believe in myself cos no one will if i don't.

There are some things that i wanna do.I guess networking would be a good idea.Gotta have more friends and ask for advice and learn.And so far the ones i've known have been very helpful.Do what i wanna do before i die.Don't you think you should be doing that too??Buenas noches everyone.

soundfeed:please forgive me by David Gray.

2004-10-05T21:00:00.000+08:00

Today was really awful.
I got out of bed really early because I had terrible stomach cramps.

I feel unusual because my antidepressants are making me hairy.

I'm so stoned.

Last night I had to shave my entire body. Apparently, the lice that I caught from Amanda's friend are really hard to get rid of. I look quite strange with no hair and eyebrows. I'd post pictures, but my webcam is broken.

I want to tell the world to get fucked.

I am really annoyed with those assholes at _are_you_hotter_than_us_?, because I am so much cuter than them, and those photos don't do me justice. They can't reject me, so I'm starting my own rating community. Click here to join (the first five applicants are automatically accepted).

Today, I got a digital camera! Yes! Here's some photos of my cock.

I want to say thanks to the world for absolutely fucking nothing! You all suck. I feel so alone, no one ever reads this journal, or even comments to let me know that I'm not suffering alone. It's cold here, and I want to die, but I cannot figure out how many of you to take with me when I go.

I went to the doctor yesterday, and he said I have bipolar disorder, and a healthy imagination.

You should all do this quiz! It's amazingly accurate. You just put in your name and birthday, and it will tell you you're a moron.

I wonder if the people i know would be at my funeral.

That's enough for now. But I'll leave you with this thought - sharing your life with strangers on the internet is the cheapest form of therapy available. Leave a comment and tell me I'm beautiful.

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Got this from somewhere.

soundfeed:shake the disease by Depeche Mode.

2004-10-02T21:58:00.000+08:00

Everyone of us has our own secrets.There is something that we like to do or that we can't live without.However hard you try to shake it off,it just keeps getting back at ya.. So what do you do?? You leave it to be.Whether it's a good thing or bad,you just have to deal with it yourself.Nobody can help you cos you won't help yourself.

What are we dealing with here?? Why is it so hard to go?? They say old habits die hard,then how about bad habits?? I've got some bad old habits myself.Bad to others like my mum,cos she thinks too much caffeine is bad for me.Frankly,i think so too.But what can i do?? I've tried so many times to cut down on it but one day without caffeine i might go crazy! So i just let it be.If my health deteriorate because of it,i know i had it coming.Remember the Nescafe ad?? Nice tune huh...

Well,that's just an example of a habit which is bad for health.What about other habits that's bad for the mind and soul?? Something which is not visible or easily known by others except between you and GOD.Do you say your prayers at night in hoping that you would wake up to another beautiful sunrise?? Did you pour all your regrets in that prayer?? But did you really regret for what you've done to yourself?? You might think that as long as you don't affect others,it should be okay cos you're only doing it to yourself.But who will suffer if the habit eats you up and one day you break down and the consequences are staring in your face?? Do you still it's only you?? Unless the people that you've been with all your life are heartless,they will suffer too.Have you ever thought about that??

You know for the past few weeks i've been doing alot of thinking.I think about the things that concerns me and my family and of course my friends too.And from all these thinkings that i come up with these kinda post that you see on your screen.I am not talking about you or anybody else for that matter.All my posts were induced by thoughts,experiences or merely by the way i felt at time of post.Maybe it's crap to you or others but i don't care two hoods about it.In here is where i let it all out.So today's post is just the same as the previous ones.I'm typing from inside....inside of me.

Everyone has their secrets and habits.Some habits are secret,and secret-telling is a bad habit.I have a lotta secrets and some people know mine too.But whatever it is,the bottom-line is,we gotta get rid of our bad habits.As for me,i'm already cutting down on my caffeine but i'm still working on the other habits.One of which is alcohol.No..i can't possibly go on like this forever.And to some,they think that it's just a temporary phase or habit and that we'll stop when we reach a certain age.Believe me when i say that sometimes... just sometimes,it doesn't happen naturally or easily.It's just the same as to quit smoking.If you don't at least try to discipline yourself,you gonna be puffing till the day you die,with or without cancer.So don't try to comfort yourself by saying things like,"It'll stop when i get older" or "You can't set a dateline to it.The habit will just go away cos you feel you've had enough." Are you sure about that?? It will stop on its own?? One day you won't feel the urge of sucking back on 'old grandpa's cough medicine??' (i got that from Dumb and Dumber) Maybe you won't feel the need to go to a club or a pub anymore yes... Cos you can do it conveniently at the 24hrs coffeeshop.Cheers and beers mate!

For those of a different faith might wonder why i need to quit drinking.Well..only Smarties have the answer ;)

soundfeed:sunshine by Keane.
(this is a beautiful tune)

2004-09-30T18:14:00.000+08:00

It is very hard to please everybody.For every smile that you project,there'll be a rumour that follows.But it's not just the gossip.Whatever the case or scenario is,there'll be people pointing fingers at ya... And so you tell yourself,"why do i even bother?? It's all kid's play." Yeah easy to say but hard to do sometimes.Why do we get these unnecessary heartaches?? Guess some people have got nothing better to do.They just like to irritate or love to mess up the life of others.They would spread rumours about things that would definitely ruined your reputation or make you lose people's trust.And for some cases,things really get ugly.I'm sure many of us have come across that kinda scenario.

And there are some who thinks that the world owes him/her something.Everything is not their fault and they blame others for what happened to them.What the hell you say...?? Believe that they are people like these too.Not sure if we can be friends or get along really well,but when they face a bad day or when they're high,that's when they pour everything out and starts to behave quite atrocious too sometimes.Then it makes you wonder,"How can i be friends with such a person?? We were like brothers/sisters."It's best that we drift away from people like these.They think that they're too superior for others.So let them rule in their own world and it's better that we stay out of their way.Ignore.

I hate politics and really hate the affects of it.I think it actually ruins more lives than saving it.Whatever discussion or agreement talks that each party or country have,will surely end in violence and thus killing lives.Pictures of scattered bodies and homes wrecked pains me.The man don't protect the women and children anymore.Either Man or Mankind,that sentence can be viewed in a different context.So that's why i watch less news now.I don't want to see the horrible things that man does to each other.We don't love ourselves anymore?? Why are we destroying our human race??Bet the leaders can't even answer that.

As much as i hate to watch the news,i watch it still.I can't be that ignorant.I need to keep abreast with what's going inside and outside the country.It's a very high-tech world now and you can get news virtually from everywhere.Are we too busy living our lives and simply can't be bothered about all that took place?? So you see,i can't do without news and also those kinda people that i mentioned before.As much as i try,i simply can't ignore.Am i short of friends?? Nah....i've got a lotta friends but it's just my nature that i can't simply push away those unpleasant ones.It's always them shoving me aside.Well...what can i say?? Sometimes you can only try so much and if it still don't work,you gotta give it a rest or just forget about it altogether.Life is short mate..and you have a lotta people to entertain.I'll just have to forget those who don't appreciate.

On a happy note,my sister's already back at home now.My dad was at the hospital to pick her up while i just stayed home with my mum.She's on medication now and she seems to be looking okay and all.No signs of tiredness or any other symptoms that might suggest that she's not fit.I'm so happy to see her back home.I'm gonna chill for a while and have dinner later.Goodbye blog.

"The world is grown so bad, that wrens make prey where eagles dare not perch." -

a quote from Richard 3 by William Shakespeare.No...i don't know much about him.I got this from here.Thought i'd share it with ya.

soundfeed:about a girl by Nirvana.

2004-09-29T23:12:00.000+08:00

Thank the GOD Almighty....my sister's fine and maybe just maybe she'll be discharged tomorrow.I was so glad to hear the news from the doctor.According to him my sister was suferring from a slight inflammation on the small intestine.It's not serious and curable of cos.She just needs to be on medication for a while and she will recover.Our family was so relieved to hear that.It could be caused by the food she eats or the excessive Coke and gassy drinks that she consumes i feel.We always tell her not to take gassy drinks too much but she never listens.On the day that we went for the check-up i nagged to her about this too.Now finally she learns her lesson.I hope.Think she will cos she told me she cried when she went for the scope test cos it hurts so much and she never wants to go through it again.I don't even wanna think about it :-/

Thank you all for the well wishes.May GOD bless ya and you have a wonderful life..Amin.

The other day when i was at the hospital's admin to fill up some paperworks for my sister's admission,suddenly the quiet and peace was interrupted by this rather rude loud-talking man having a conversation on his cellphone.Why rude?Cos he was swearing and cursing thru and thru.Apparently he wasn't happy about the fact that he couldn't get a subsidy for his children's studies or something(i wasn't really paying attention)and if i'm not mistaken something about his MP not able to help him on a complaint that he brought forward to pursue.My bro and i just looked at each other then grinned.Luckily my mum's hearing ain't that good anymore or i'm sure she wants to be wheeled out instead of staying in there.Let me give you something he said that's still ringing in my ears right now.

angry man : "anak s**dal dia betul...s**l punya ciner....besar punya babi haram...ada ke dia cakap nothing we can do....abih apa dia boleh buat??ni s**l punya lahanat ni sumer...p***mak haram ....babi betul...aku ingat lagi apa dia cakap pas tu aku bilang dia nanti aku cakap ngan PKMS...s**l s**dal ni sumer....mampos taknak !!"

Scary huh??He's not afraid of anything now.He's totally raging against the machine!

Then on our way home in the cab,we had a very friendly cabbie.Very soft spoken and fluent malay-speaking chinese cabbie.Me and my bro didn't talked much cos we were enjoying listening to the conversation he had with my dad.They were talking about the good old days and how they enjoyed themselves when they were kids.Flying kites,ice kepal and how they can get two things or even more with just ten cents.Imagine how the excitement's gonna be when they get a dollar.Maybe they think they could buy the island !! hahahaha.... Anyway,as it was a 'time-travelling' conversation,they faced the present times too.The cabbie was telling us about how hard it is for him to send his kids to skool before and that the living expenses are getting higher as days go by.He's only driving part-time cos his kids are all grown up now and supporting him.Lucky for him yes...but he said he doesn't want to trouble them at all cos he knows how his children are struggling too.Maybe harder that what he went thru according to him.He doesn't care much about the 'machine' cos he feels that it's just empty promises and talks.And when the citizens get something,it's all coming out from our own money too.In his own words...

chinese cabbie :"abih macamaner lagi mau bikin??...tiap-tiap benda dia orang kasi kiter,itu sumer kiter punya wang jugak....awak ingat dia mau kasi free ke??...kasi kiter enam ratus konon...kira mcm share lah gitu...satu ribu mau buat belanja rumah satu bulan pun belum tau cukup,ini kan pulak enam ratus??...selalu minta kiter derma...dia orang gaji satu bulan beribu-ribu tau...takkan tak boleh tolong sikit??....satu ribu derma pun tak mati punya...lagi banyak lagi ada pat dalam bank....betul tak??"

Get real indeed..! Is this what they call...we ain't living,we're just killing time?? Ordinary people,ordinary places...extra-ordinary feedbacks.But come to think of it,it's not that special cos it's.......NORMAL.Let's all Whine and Dine.

soundfeed:wouldn't it be nice by The Beach Boys.
(this tune makes me dance)

2004-09-29T02:19:00.000+08:00

Oh my gosh...one after another.My sweet dear darling sister has been admitted to the hospital.I don't know what happened to her but apparently she vomitted blood yesterday night.I was so shocked and scared when i saw that.I'm bloody scared of this internal thingy so i hope it's nothing serious for my darling sister.Her blood test didn't showed much so now she'll have to go for the scope test.I'm so scared for her.I wish i was on the bed instead.She looked so healthy and all but how could this happened??

Dear GOD,please please let her out of harm's way.

I'm taking care of my mum for now.I'll be doing this till my sis gets well and i mean really really well.Now i know my strength.I never could be far away from this two important ladies of my life.Never have... Guess i won't be goin anywhere after all.Hope nothing's wrong with you my darling sister.

The UEFA Champions League is on tonight.It's Real madrid vs Roma.Usually i'll be watching it with her cos she's a fan of Madrid.Tonight i'll be watching it alone without her.She actually asked me to record it for her so she can watch it too when she gets home...that darn sister of mine.I'm glad she knows how much i love her.This post is for my sister.

soundfeed:all you want by Dido.

2004-09-27T23:29:00.000+08:00

I've heard a song before that goes something like.."anybody with a heart votes love.."
But it's not a slow number.In fact it's the kinda track you rave to.
Love here,love there.But it's funny that everybody seems to be heartbroken.What the hell is going on?? It is the 'rainy' season alright.It's like... everyone i meet has something to share about relationship problems.And i don't just mean the old friends that i know,but new ones too!! Damn...this is torture for a single guy you know.

I don't wanna listen anymore.Let's talk about something else.How bout the dolphins mating habits??

soundfeed:analyse by The Cranberries.

2004-09-27T02:04:00.000+08:00

It's raining every now and then.Kinda suit the moods i'm in recently.Yes i was whining and all about how things are going for me and i feel like i'm still not done.But then again,how long can i go on like this?? I know it wouldn't change a damn single thing about what had happened and what's going to.I'll just have to move on and search for the colourful stretch.It may take me a while but at least i'm putting some effort in it.Thanks to all who've given the drive from all your wonderful comments or words of wisdom.

But words are just words right..?? It was composed by feelings that you felt inside and thru the brain comes out sentences that would sooth the downer's feelings.All of us do that,even me.And sometimes we wished that we could do more to help but....we're struggling ourselves.But no need to feel bad about that cos it was the initial thought that counts.What am i saying here?? I'm sure you all know that.Silly me.But still,there are some who are just pretending to care.I've seen these people and it really saddens me.How can you toy with someone's feelings?? I mean,pretend that you care when you actually don't?? Once,i told one of these people off cos she was pretending to care for my heart-broken friend.Yeah...apparently she was only trying to get into my friend's good books and also better her chances of being my friend's girl.She was so bloody materialistic.She loved the car and house.The things people do... So sad.

What a world we're living in.I wonder who was the one who made the world go 'round'??Who made a point that money was everything?? GOD gave us the good earth for us to live in and all the beautiful creations for us to relish and cherish,but did we even bother about all that?? I know i haven't and i surely regret it.I was carried away in all those that were not important and wasted my life away.I should have concentrated on necessities only.Now i have become one of those that contributed to the system that we live in now.We're programmed to receive i say.Work till this age and retire at this age and die at this age.I wouldn't call that 'lived life to the fullest'.And there'll be no coming back after you die.So is this what i want?? I have to work on my plan really quick.

I've been talking bout leaving this place for good and i've received a lotta feedbacks from my friends.I'm really glad that they wanted to be part of the discussion.I can say most of them had the same idea but bcos of commitments and responsibilities they can't do it.Well i can understand that very well cos i myself am going thru the same drill.But i tell them that it's all just a plan and i'm not even sure if i can do it.But still i ain't quitting.I'm always looking for ways and guidance to make this thing a reality.This is not just another 'mat jenin' dream and i don't need people to believe it will come true.Some might think that i'm crazy or that i'm just saying this as a gimmick,well i can understand that.Like i said,i don't need you to believe or need your support to make this dream a reality.Whether or not i'll be leaving eventually,depends on me,not you or anybody else.

Oh my gosh..!! I just found out just now that Motown Junk has no friends! In 'ruangku' that is...
I've been listening to a lot of SUEDE lately...exceptionally excessive.Brett and Bernard are working on something now but i doubt it'll be another DogManStar.I ain't counting on it either.

soundfeed:metal mickey by SUEDE.

2004-09-26T01:39:00.000+08:00

Yes,life's no joke.I know you knew,so??

2004-09-23T19:57:00.000+08:00

I am a man
Cut from the know
Rarely do friends
Come and then go
She was a girl
Soft but estranged
We were the two
Our lives rearranged
Feeling so good that day
A feeling of love that day

Twisting and turning
Your feelings are burning
You're breaking the girl
She meant you no harm (chorus)
Think you're so clever
But now you must sever
You're breaking the girl
He loves no one else

Raised by my dad
Girl of the day
He was my man
That was the way
She was the girl
Left alone
Feeling the need
To make me her home
I don't know what when or why
The twilight of love had arrived

---> RHCP

I used to sing this song to myself when i had problems with my ex-girlfriend.I don't care what it means or what's the song about,i just love the 'breaking the girl' part.At times i feel that i was so naive or too stubborn.But she'd be very good to me.She'll give in even though it was my fault and would never ever rake it up.But of cos not all of the times.I had to treasure her heart too mind you.It's really a shame that it had to end.

I was on my way to meet my friend when i saw her yesterday.She was going home from visiting one of the relatives from her hubby's side.She was with her two kids and her mum and dad.Mum and dad remembers me for life.Why?? Cos they're friends to my parents.Her hubby never liked me.He still thinks that i'm not over things and that i'm still wooing his wife.Talk about being paranoid.Of cos that's not true.The day she got married was the day i put everything behind and never pursue it any further.I could never interfere in people's relationship problems let alone break up a marriage.But i guess it's true what they say...first love is hard to forget.But looking at her yesterday i felt happy inside.Happy to see her doing well and that she's in the pink of health.And again her mum and dad would invite me over to their place for dinner or something.I would always say yes or maybe but never turn up.I don't know why...maybe it's better that way.

She would call up my sister once in a while to ask about things.And like the prime time news,my sister would feedback to her from a-z.Darn my little sister... Well,it's been more than ten years now and at least one of us has a good life.As for me,i'll keep chasing that rainbow till i finally stumble and fall.

Ohh...and i had a great time yesterday at Hideout for the 'indie nights' theme.I kissed my brother while he was introducing me to the audience.They (the band) had a couple of good sets and the deejay was of cos spinning our favourite indie tunes.Ahh swell...he was a friend too.Me and my mates were from China Bar then to Hideout then to China Bar again.Rolling good times indeed !

Ohh what a day it was...but still i ain't happy.Just be quiet and let me whine some more.

soundfeed:take my hand by Dido.

2004-09-22T03:04:00.000+08:00

I wanna return to innocence.I don't care what you say.

Memories of Changi.

2004-09-21T22:10:00.000+08:00

Someone is hiding something from you.Someone is keeping a secret.Some people just can't keep their mouth shut.Some people just like to probe into the life of others.Someone always gets caught in the middle.Someone will always be a scapegoat.

Yes..we've seen or rather know these kinda people.In fact,they are around us too.It could be someone that you talk to everyday or seldom in a month.But they have stories to keep.And sometimes they have stories to tell.I know a few.

All those talks about bein true to each other is nothing but a lie.We can never be true to ourselves let alone others.So why make those promises?? I lie,you lie,everybody else lies.So why harp about honesty?? Say we'll be together forever or till death do us part or buddies for life or whatever fuck there is out there are only excuses to make us feel better.None of the concern or cherish will ever make up for the lie that we said.And when the moment of truth comes,only then we know whether we've been a good friend or a soulmate.Or have we made the right choice.

No one is perfect and no others should ever judge.Who gave you the right to judge on whether that person is fit to be friend or an enemy?? Maybe the enemy was your friend and that you're the betrayer.Maybe i am the enemy within.Maybe people will hate me for what i have just said.But i know that they're just disagreeing with themselves.Could they've realized that it's all a big fat lie?? I bet they do.It's good to show your feelings or emotions once in a while right?? Just to let it out.....have a good cry,a good laugh or simply sit idle and pretend that you don't feel it.Yeah...after all we're getting good at pretending.Pretentious we are.

I'm sorry but i'm just letting it out.I'm not talking about anyone in particular but it's a true fact and i can't let it lay underneath it all.At times like these people might find it easy to hate me or vice versa.And also during these times that i'll speak my mind and just pour out and let it overflow.Hate me if you will and i swear i'll bear no grudges.In a world that looks so ordinary,it's every man for himself.I didn't made it that way and surely ain't you.Who made it this way then??

Where's all the good good people??
Not here or anywhere.They're hiding maybe.And who said you can't whine??

soundfeed:so young by The Stone Roses.

2004-09-21T02:45:00.000+08:00

This few days i've been killing my time on the net.Nothing works right for me now.I've been trying so hard to get over that great big hill but to no avail.Sometimes it's just a few steps away to the top,then the earth starts to shatter.I lost my foothold on the ground and stumble to the bottom.it's back to square one again.

I can't blame nature for what had happened and for sure i'm not even done savouring what nature has to offer.But why?? Why must it happen now?? Can't it wait at least till i get to the top?? I'm so unlucky am i??

Yeah it seems like a dream.It is a dream.A dream that i had so vivid that i makes me wanna go trekking right away.But no....this ain't about walking the beautiful parks of nature....but rather looking at it metaphorically.Am i right in saying that?? Hope i am cos pardon me,i ain't too bright.

Maybe it's just a phase and that i should not worry.Good days will come you say.But life's not a sitcom yeah.... not always a happy ending at the the end.

My rainbow has no colours now.It had been that way since the day i touch the pot of gold.But i'm lesser than six pence none the richer.

Good night all and relish life to the fullest.No no....forget i said that.You already know what to do.

God bless.

"all i can say is that my life is pretty plain..
i like watchin the puddles gather rain...
and all i can do is just pour just some tea for two
and speak my point of view but it's not sane...

it's not sane..." - lyrics from my soundfeed.

soundfeed:no rain by Blind Melons.

2004-09-18T01:55:00.000+08:00

Okay ...now i'm trying to cheer myself up after the previous entry.

"All rock music is good as long as it has passion and feeling."

"Punk is musical freedom. It's saying, doing and playing what you want. In Webster's terms, nirvana means freedom from pain, suffering and the external world, and that's pretty close to my definition of Punk Rock."

"Anybody else who's going to get addicted to drugs are obviously going to fuck up their lives eventually. If it doesn't take a year, it will be next year. I've seen it happen with every person that gets strung out. Drugs are bad for you. They will fuck you up."

"All my life, I never believed most things I read in history books and a lot of things I learned in school. But now I've found I don't have the right to make a judgment on someone based on something I've read. I don't have the right to judge anything. That's the lesson I've learned."

"His role has been played for years. Ever since the beginning of rock and roll, there's been an Axl Rose. And it's just boring. It's totally boring to me. Why it's such a fresh and new thing in his eyes is obviously because it's happening to him personally and he's such an egotistical person that he thinks that the whole world owes him something."

"I'm so happy because today I found my friends- they're in my head"

"Though the sun is gone, I have a light."

"A friend is nothing but a known enemy"

"If it's illegal to rock and roll, throw me in jail!"

"I'm too busy acting like I`m not Naive. I`ve seen it all, I was here first."

Those are some quotes from the legendary kurt cobain on life,love,drugs,people,the band and music.It's been ten years now.He's one hell of a guy and twisted too.He thinks his departure would give his daughter a more meaningful and beautiful life.. for whatever that means.But some say he didn't kill himself.Anyway,see you in hell kurt.

2004-09-18T01:40:00.000+08:00

Last week i had a conversation with a friend about suicide.Apparently this friend of mine have tried it before and now whenever she feels that life's a torture,the crazy thought came to mind.She's my senior by 5yrs but she certainly doesn't look her age.And she's a eurasian.The period i've known her is brief but she's one hell of a lady.We talked about a lotta stuff when we meet or when we're chatting online.We chat so much about life and how things sometimes or always don't go the way you want it to be.But hey,that's life for ya.And one of her life experience was when the day she found out the man of her dreams actually belonged to a lady and two kids.She felt like she was totally made a fool of and that she wasted a lot of her time and effort on something that was never meant to be.How the guy did it?? That's a top class player for ya.But in this case he chose to play in only one court.

As she told me,it totally shattered her life and smashed her hopes to pieces when she learnt about it.She felt that life was of no use living for now that love deserted her and left her to rot.But luckily her attempt wasn't successful and also during that moment another friend was on the way to see her at her apartment.The friend found her in a very unstable state and quickly rushed her to the hospital.And since that time onwards,that same friend has been taking care for her till the day she recovered.During our meeting i told her that she was lucky to have such a friend.

After hearing her story,i realized that sometimes we're not as strong as we think we are.We try to bottle it all up and no matter how we avoid or deny,those are the times that we need a shoulder to cry on.It's like we're in a vulnerable state too.Why i say vulnerable?? Because it's during that time when we'll be easily influenced by bad company,friends that don't really care and crazy voices in our head.And when these voices talk is the time we'll be hearing crazy thoughts of suicide and such.Of cos it wouldn't apply to all i would say.If you have that basic foundation in yourself from all the teachings that mum and dad or religion has given,you wouldn't be easily influenced.It's basically what i told her during the time we had this conversation.And how about those people we'll be leaving behind?? People who really really care for us.People who'll always be there in time of need.People who would give unconditionally.People like our parents or that one in a million friend.And also,every religion wouldn't condone such actions.She just nodded her head in agreement.

There were some other issues that we talked about and some of which i can easily relate to.And to think that she actually like trip-hop music and all other alternative dance music that you can only can hear at Zouk.Yeah..she goes there too.I didn't got to know her online.In fact she's a friend of my friend (i hope that's not confusing..hahahah).Well my friend got to know her at a club and they've been contacting each other ever since.No they're not an item.It's just that she confessed to me and my mates that she likes our company.She said we're the happy go lucky type,In fact,we are :) She's like always inviting us over to her place cos she's staying alone and she really could use some company.But there are days when she's too caught up with her work and she wouldn't even sms.And of cos,how can we possibly do that all the time?? I mean crash at her place.We've got our own place too and my mum would kill me if don't come back all the time.The thing is,whenever we're there,it's always a drinking session and after that,we'll sleep till the morning after.There was one time i went to work straight from her place.Damn....i was zombified throughout the whole day.No way am i gonna go thru that again.

Enough about her and now about me.Right now i'm in a state where everything has gone wrong.Seriously.I don't feel like talking to anyone about this even though they tried to probe.I just feel like blogging about it.As far as i'm concerned,the skies are always dark for me and the rainbow don't shine with colours (cept for the one i loaned from Darla) All my planning has gone to waste and i really find it's a torture.Is it me or life is really taking me for a ride?? As much as i don't want to give up,but sometimes it just seemed inevitable.What am i suppose to do?? Like i said in my previous entry,how come i see others so happy?? Or are they facing worst than mine?? But i feel like i've been in dire straits once too many times.Shall i give everything up and really stand aside and watch?? I know if i was gonna do that,nothing would change for the better.In the end i'm still gonna lose.Frankly,in this state of mind i'm in,i'll even dare to play russian roulette.Does any of you own a 45?? Of cos not.

It's your turn to shoot.

And i fucking hate marilyn manson !! I am fighting the demons within.Maybe i should've done it a long time ago.But i admit,i'm not strong.DIE DEMONS DIE!!

soundfeed:trouble by Coldplay.

2004-09-15T23:18:00.000+08:00

Everything's gone wrong.I have to start all over again.I can't afford to lose this one too.I'll have to do what it takes to make it there.I've never given up and not about to start now.Say what they want cos my ears are filtered now.I can only hear good stuff.

Yes people don't know what i'm talking about.It's just that....i'm in a difficult situation right now.Even comforting my mum when she's angry ain't that big a task.I don't know why it happens to me all the time.Everyone else makes mistakes and commit sins too,but why i see them happy all the time?? Or maybe they're keeping their problems inside and don't wanna show it.Whatever the case is,i just got to keep the faith.If i ever lose my faith,i don't know what's going to become of me.A rotten skull 7 feet under with nothing to show for good deeds.Name tarnished and life unrelished.But this is not a question or an entry on faith in religion.It's just one of those crazy days where i just feel like i'm being unfair or life's being unfair to me.Have you done your part for charity??Have you done any good deeds at all?? I'm sure you all have.What about me?? Gotta check with them angels.

This is not an attempt to implicate.We answer for our own actions and we certainly had our share of ups and downs.Like i said earlier,I'm just a having one those not so shiny days and i start to reflect on myself and others.I usually listen to the voices in my head and keep it to myself.But for no particular reason i just felt like bloggin about it tonight.Why does it happen?? Does it happen to you too??Is there any reason behind it?? Or should we let it out in the confession box?? Fuck me brother for i have sinned.

Come sin in the sun.

I'm at the Temporary Insanity Club.Be back soon.

soundfeed:santeria by Sublime.

2004-09-11T03:54:00.000+08:00

Today's a black day in history.

2004-09-11T03:48:00.000+08:00

I just receive news that a friend of mine from Germany is arriving here over the weekend.Wow...it's been a bloody while since the last time i saw her.Frankly i don't really remember how she looks like even though i've seen the latest snaps of her a few months back.I bet she's more matured looking now than before and also more taller! LOL!!

I got to know her abt four years ago,a day before her flight home.She's actually the daughter of one of the directors in a german engineering company where my best friend works.This friend of mine is residing in the west of the lion city and we've been friends for more than 6yrs now.So during the time the german girl was here for a holiday,my best friend was suppose to bring her out and show her around.But you know,there's not much to see here and they even covered Sentosa.And she wasn't really interested in sight-seeing.She was more interested to know bout the nightlife here.

I was in town on that particular day with my mates and we had no plans cept for to chill out somewhere.While busy catching up with my drinking mates,suddenly i was reminded of my best friend.So i decided to call her and asked her where she was and maybe meet up.She was in town too and told me that she's with a friend.I invited them to join me and they did.And so i was introduced to Tina and if i could remember she was 18 that time.But you know,they don't look their age.My best friend actually didn't want it to happen(me knowing Tina) or if she could,never!Don't ask me why cos i ain't got a fucking clue.I really can't understand women sometimes.But sadly something cropped and my best friend had to leave early.She wanted to send Tina home too but the foreigner declined.She wanted to stay a little longer to enjoy the night and the new company.

I offered her alcohol cos she was of legal age and it was obvious that she preferred that rather than plain coke.After a few rounds,she was chatting like an express train.. LOL! We talked abt cultures and stuff and she was quite interested in this 'lepak' culture.She asked whether we do this all the time and i said only if we were broke to go to a pub or disco and also if we didn't want any entertainment except from ourselves."Don't you do this too back home??",i asked.According to her,she and her friends would either go to a pub or to a friend's place to chill."But you know....after a while it gets quite dull when you're over someone's place..",she continued."watch porno!!" i said...then we all had a good laugh.It's good to see that she's enjoying our company and not feel bored.It was all good and pure innocent fun.

Soon it was time to make a move.So we all walked towards the carpark and i walked her to the main road to catch a cab.I offered to send her home but she said she'll managed and she wouldn't want her dad's subordinate to see who sent her home.You see,Tina's got a very strict dad.Even stricter than most parents.And the time she's going home that night was rather late too.But lucky for her daddy's in germany and not with her.So we talked for little while and watched my friends rode off one by one.It was exciting for her to see a lotta scooters pass at one go.Except for one who's waiting for me.He was my default rider..hehehe.So i hailed a cab for her and we said our goodbyes.She gave me her number and also a peck on the cheek cos she said i was a good host and she had a good time with me and the rest.And she was sad that it was her last day in the lion city."i wish we had met earlier",she said.Off she went and me too.

But the night wasn't quite over for me.We had supper after the chill out session.I only ordered a large glass of teh tarik and yakked on the phone with Tina.She wanted to chat on the phone last before she handed the sim card over to her dad's sub.That was the last verbal conversation we had.After that was thru emails.I haven't got internet connection at home before so we didn't really chat.Now she's coming down here again but she's not gonna be alone.Daddy's gonna be joining her on the 16th.She only got a couple of days to enjoy herself if she wants.I'll be meeting her next tuesday.Apparently my best friend is doin all the planning for Tina and herself.Whatever it is,i'll be sure to be free on that day.

soundfeed:black or blue by Suede.

2004-09-09T20:10:00.000+08:00

Why even bother to flush down the toilet?Just leave it and someone will flush it for ya..Why bother to flush the urinal?? Yes,someone will flush that for you too.You claimed to be hygienic and that the ugly sight of an unflushed bowl will make you wanna puke...in fact maybe the whole lot of others.If that's what you claim you are,why didn't you flush yours??Why??

Some fucking people are either unhygienic at all or just like to take things for granted.They know that there'll be someone to clean up the mess for them and that's why they never bother to use a little strength to push down the flushing handle.You better off be living in a pig sty for all i care!!We have come so far since the cavemen period to learn a little thing called 'manners' or 'courtesy'.You dress up in wonderful clothes and eating fabulous food but you're lacking something up in that head.Or should i say you got no brains.If you had it then maybe you would think about others who's using the same public facility as you are.You see,i'm not talking about urinals or disgusting stools in the bowl.All i'm saying is,some people really don't have it.No courtesy at all or maybe they've just been too pampered that they take every single mother-fucking thing for granted.They expect everything to be taken care of for them or laid down upon them for their own advantage.

These are the kinda people that really tick me off.I bet they even want their love partners or future spouses to be lined up for them.Man.....it's so bloody sad.You study high and pass with flying colours or you don't want to study at all,the basic lessons in life are already being taught at home.Unless if you have a disfunctional family.But even so,i'm sure your mummy ever told you to flush the bowl after use right??Ohhh..please tell me if she didn't..

That is not the way to live your life.Where's your consideration for others??Have you ever even spared a thought for them?? Yeah of cos life does not evolves in the loo and there's no fucking way you gonna tell me that you're a considerate person when you don't even care for the old mopping lady.Well she's not my auntie either but hey,you're the considerate one! Can you even trust a person with such a character?? I never judge anyone at first glance or even for the 100th time....usually it's the other way round and i don't even give a damn.Say what you want about me.I don't care if the crowd don't stick with me anymore.Obviously they've just been duped or should i say brainwashed by an evil person.Yeah... a heartless person.And they say it takes forever to know someone.But i just hate being with a stuck-up brag who thinks that his or her life is perfect than others.Well the kinda friends that they have are like them too,stuck-up and fairweather.So much for wanting to care for someone.Just keep your love to yourself honey...obviously you are just too perfect for me.

*to be or not to be??
not to be.

soundfeed:all you goood good people by Embrace.

2004-09-07T02:25:00.000+08:00

The other day i was watching this travel show on Discovery Channel and they were showcasing Paris.Yes it's a beautiful country and a popular spot for newlyweds to go for their honeymoon.The cities light up thru the night and people are out to find the perfect place to chill and socialise.I was so amazed by the place and the way they are living their lives.Gosh...there is so much that i'm missing.No wonder they can achieve and do anything.

But it's not just about Paris.Anywhere else in the world too you can see that people are living life with the greatest of ease and how they are able to do what they wanna do.But of cos there are the unfortunate ones like those war-torn countries or the third world countries.Maybe we should do our part to help them in any way we can.But what i saw on tv that day has really open up a whole new idea for me.... to go out there and explore.I came across this saying by a famous person but i forgot who.Anyway the saying was something like,"The world is a book.Those who don't go out and venture,will only stay at a page." I guess that's how it goes.Pardon if i'm wrong.So basically you know what message it's conveying.Maybe some of us who've had the chance of travelling and get the chance to see a different world elsewhere.But for some,the chance is yet to come.Mine too.I gotta let go of my commitments for a while.

In the show,they were going around in search of artist over there who makes a living by painting and selling it away at flea markets or just parading them by the side of the road till someone wants to buy it.And we're not talking about famed artist.These are ordinary people who's passionate about arts and crafts.I mean....it's like..i don't know how high the cost of living there and how much you'll need to make it thru the day but obviously these ppl are earning something out of their passion.Like when i mentioned earlier abt them able to do anything they wanna do and have no worries at all.Well maybe they do have something to worry abt but it doesn't affect the way they live their lives.And only God knows if they're raging against the machine or don't give a fuck abt what's going on in politics cos we all know that war starts when politicians fail.And i noticed in that show,one of them painters was painting a picture portraying the aftermaths of war.You see,we all care,but there's nothing we can do except maybe praying and giving out donations or volunteering in social work or for the red cross.But that's not the issue here.

I always thought that there was everything in my place of born.But as you grow up you'll realized that there's a lotta things that you're missing.And the question again,"where have i been all these while??" Damn..!! Yeah you have the historical landmarks,new landmarks and new facilities to enjoy but that's about it.What else can you brag about?? It's not that i look down on my own place of born but seriously,what else is there here?? What have you done to enjoy your life here?? Have you gain support from the necessary bodies or do the people here even care at what you do??Talk about being open-minded and the only thing they know is maybe we're gonna talk about sex.Ohh kiss my ass you stoopid fuckers!! Is that how you define it??Some people are not as open as they think they are.But it's cool.You don't have to be open to make friends.We're asians anyway.Maybe it's time we think out of the box you know.This place needs something to perk us up.And damn well we need to live our lives the way we want it don't you think?? Are the best things in life meant for people of the hi-life?? NO....of cos not.Everyone's entitled to enjoy what life has to offer.But because we're only 'programmed' to receive.Hey that sounds like a song right??

I'm sure there's a lot more here than meets the eye.Maybe i'm the negative one.But whatever it is i'm sure that the feeling of envy is there when you see how others are living their lives in their country without much pressure or having the freedom to express themselves.Maybe i whine too much you think.But one bloody thing's for sure,i ain't alone feeling this way.I'm confident in saying that.I got a crazy plan.Till then,gd night,

soundfeed:jerk it out by Caesar's Palace.

2004-09-05T03:00:00.000+08:00

Don't hate the player,hate the game.Is that the way it is??It's never about the player??You get full points for breaking a heart.So,are you game??

R.E.S.P.E.C.T. 's not included.

soundfeed:that joke isn't funny anymore by The Smiths.

2004-09-04T01:56:00.000+08:00

i'm sorry for indulging too late
i'm sorry for neglecting
i am not half the man i used to be
i'm trying so hard to control me..
these things came too late
cos i'm starting to appreciate
the new discoveries that i find great
and people whom i've called my mates.
surely it was great fun
and all was having a great time
but you were just a phone call away
no..i should've never stayed.
i am lonely right now
the streets don't greet me with a smile
hustle and bustle of the crazy town
while i sat down with a frown
that is totally not my style.
oh where are you now??
please come back soon
i'm scared of staying alone
without the love and tenderness i'm so fond..

i'm so lost without you.

I've realized,i am still a toddler.

soundfeed:when you're gone by The Cranberries.

2004-09-02T02:29:00.000+08:00

I spent the night chilling out at a friend's place yesterday.It was a new friend to me cos i've never saw her before.My mate suggested to go there since we had no plans for the night.It was a nice cosy apartment in Kembangan.Drinks were on us.We chatted until the wee hours of the morning then retired.Damn i was so tired i guess...cos i slept like a log.We left the place at about 5pm juz now.Ohh what a night.And when i reached home,i faced the music for failing to inform my family the night before.

I kinda wanna go out again but i'll have to confirm with my friend first.My MC's gonna end soon and so i'd like to spend the remaining days bein out all the time.Once i get back to work there'll be less time for me.What a long 'holiday' it has been and i kinda enjoyed it.My arm's getting better now.I didn't wear the elbow splint yesterday as a matter of fact.I'm getting on fine.

Damn ESPN is charging more for the EPL broadcast.Do you know what this means??It means maybe they'll be no more EPL on Starhub's cable.So what's the point of having the sports channel anyway?Watch baseball or american football??Ohh c'mon.... You know no other leagues that has a huge following around the world than EPL next to the Italy Serie A and Spanish La Liga.And to think we living here would be deprived of watching the very league that we and our fathers were 'baptised' with??Every sunday morning right after the cartoons then you'll have The Road To Wembley which is now known only as English Premier League.The effects of british colonial occupation.But not that i mind that much if the local football league was just as happening.Since the day we seperate from the M'sia Cup,the local scene has been quite dead.Luckily there's the new generation pom-pom girls and aspiring 'Fandi Ahmads' to watch their local idols.To me,no no...it just doesn't work for me no more. (betulnye cekik darah ni espn...)

Ahh...before i go,i just wanna say this or ask this rather to all of you.Do you find it's irritating or like the person is angry if there was 2 question marks or maybe more at the end of a question instead of only 1?? Like now??Kindly leave ur answers or comments on my comments page please.I've asked this to some other friends and i just wanna hear what the majority says.If it is then maybe i'll stop it.But it's like i've been doin it for a very long time that i get so used to holding the 'shift' key and pressing twice on the question mark key.A friend said it's irritating and so i wanna see if she's right.Till then,gd night.

soundfeed:2 of us by Suede.

2004-08-30T17:45:00.000+08:00

It was a great event with great performances and great friends.Step aside J-Lo cos Inul's gonna rock the house and her booty is out of control....hahaha! We had our own food and drinks courtesy of Miss Staralfur but i can't resist the Heiney booth.But booze was kept to a minimum though.Overall it was great and i'm glad my friends enjoyed it.What else is there to enjoy here cept for events like these??Sadly the closing act was not as good as expected.

picture courtesy of Womad sponsors

Oh and yes rockstar..."Aku mengingatimu dalam hurray-hurrayku.."

soundfeed:by the sea by Suede.

2004-08-28T18:21:00.000+08:00

I was out partying with my secondary school mates yesterday.It's been a long time since we went out partying together.And the funny thing is,yesterday's plan was kinda last minute cos initially they just wanna go somewhere and chill.Since my cast is off,i went out without the elbow splint either.Hey,you can't forever rely on that thing right??I have to make sure that arm's heal up good and fully functional.But i do admit that i feel pain if i do vigorous movements.But i still went out and had a good time.We headed to Muhd. Sultan Rd.While we were at the pub,i ran into an ex-colleague from S'pore Technologies.Boy did he grow up! His bulging tummy looked like it was gonna explode!Way too much alcohol.We exchanged numbers and promised to keep in touch.

And yes...it's someone's birthday.Sorry honey,no cake and roses from me....LOL! Anyway wish you all the best and God bless Mr.Motown Junk.

Time really don't wait for anybody does it??.Whether you're prepared for the future or not,you better be sure you've got something planned or at least a contingency plan in case life fucks you up.I've made plans for myself and only God knows how I'm struggling to make it happen.But so far life's been kind and even though lady luck's not always smiling at me,i've managed to eek my way through.Yes it's a bittersweet symphony alright.Am i glad richard wrote that song.That's my national anthem.But somehow i feel that it's all happening for me quite late.Some things which i thought i could never have or did is happening for me now.Makes me wonder,"where have i been all these years??Was i at the wrong path?Why wasn't i at this junction before??" It's strange man...but strange it may seemed,it is happening.I can stop it but i don't want to.I can run but there's too many routes for me to choose.Maybe i'll just stand aside and watch.But the desire is just too strong for me.What am i gonna do??Time don't wait and every year a number is added for you.Sometimes i think the number i have don't suit me :) And as corny as always,it's nothing but a number.

I'm gonna surf the net a little while more and log off later.I don't think i'll be going out tonight so i'll spend quality time with my beloved family.My sister was down with cold a few days ago.She's fine now and yeah i didn't boss her around...hahaha.She knows what to do and it was only the early stages of my mishap that i needed some attention.And i did thank her for everything.I love her.Till then,have a good weekend.

soundfeed:bigmouth strikes again by Placebo.

2004-08-26T18:28:00.000+08:00

"Math is a universal language.."- Jodie Foster in the movie 'Contact'.

I hate the subject but i like the teacher.Why...she was the most beautiful in school that's why!Yea.. cheeky me.Hope she's doin fine in the states.Thank you for getting the algebras in my head Miss Laura Lau.

soundfeed:lagu cinta by Dewa.

2004-08-26T01:55:00.000+08:00

It's a very cooling night.Drops from heaven were falling since daytime.I woke up late but remained in my room lazing around.I was running a temperature.After lazing for a while i got up to shower.Aspirins managed to bring it down.Soon i was back in my room again glued to the tube.

Got a call from one of my colleagues who got transfered out from the airport.Apparently he heard abt what happened to me a few weeks ago and thus called to ask my well being.I told him everything was good and that i'm recovering fine.It was nice to listen from him again.From what i know he's doing fine at the new workplace but the feedbacks i got from him suggest otherwise.I told him to be patient and remember his wife and kids whenever he feels like blowing his top.We laughed to that.I missed those days when we were together in a team.I learned playing the guitar from him and much more music related stuff.He's really good.Him and another colleague,a filipino guy.But those days are gone now.Like i asked before,"why is it good things must come to an end??Sad,sad indeed.

I guess lion city's hope of ever getting a medal from the olympics this year would be down the drain.The most anticipated and hopeful events were table-tennis and badminton.But our atheletes were defeated in both events."Maybe we should learn from the chinese.." - was what i heard on the olympics preview show.As you would know by now,China is playing tug-of-war with the USA in the medal tally board.They are the asian giants all right.I guess it's hard for our atheletes.Not just them but everyone who's trying to pursue their dream in this lion city.Having to juggle both studies or work with training,how can they cope??As what one local athelete said,"we should have a flexible study system like the U.S. or countries that allows atheletes to train hard but at the same time not having to catch up with her/his studies,you know a flexible timetable or something." Well i guess he's right,don't you think??At least be flexible in order for them to prepare for whatever games that's coming up.But i guess there's no "work hard,play hard" here just "work hard,work hard".Sad isn't it??A lot of struggling artist or musician in this country too.An applause to those who are serious.For those who just wanna have a groupie of their own,"BELAH SUA MAT!!".And for those who are stuck with a band they think that don't have commitment or lack of it,join your project band instead....hahahaha!!

I actually got in touch with a someone who's looking for a vocalist.They are actually looking for a bassist too but curently the keyboardist will cover that post.The leader told me that they play a whole range of music genres and not just indie.I say that's good cos i don't wanna stay stagnant too.We should explore or try other music styles in order to know our capabilities.Well that's how i feel about it all.I'll be meeting them next week and we'll have our first jamming session together.I hope everything goes fine and that i'll be accepted as part of the band.If that happens,i'll have a good way to fill up my emptiness and practice my song writing with their help of cos.Something i long wanted to try.But i'm not pinning my hopes too much though.No...no more banging the drums.I'm trying vocals now.Yeah....soon it'll be raining always :p

I guess it's because of my fever that i'm feeling kinda tired.I'm gonna go sleep now.That's all for now.Laters..!

soundfeed:open arms by Journey.

2004-08-24T04:16:00.000+08:00

I've given up forcing myself to sleep.It's been more than three weeks i'm at home now and i've been sleeping late.Nothing works for me.I tried to read myself to sleep,listen to boring songs or surf the net till my eyes get tired,but still i'll be lying inside my room staring at the ceiling.Unfortunately i don't see any jumping clouds.Maybe my body-clock's fucked up.The day is night while the night goes on forever.I might as well join the fight club.

Womad will be on this weekend.It's the event i've been waiting for.I've made plans with who i wanna go with and hopefully things will work out just fine.Sadly the friends whom i usually go out with don't really know about this thingy.They don't even care.Well of course,how can you care if you don't know right??Ok i don't know if that sounds right or make sense....Anyway it's okay if they don't wanna go but it's kinda sad for me when i hear them spout remarks like i'm trying to be like arty-farty kinda ppl or that i'm trying to be somebody that i'm not or watever watever..!! It's really sad...I mean...i know who i am and i also know what i like.I don't know when and how this liking came about but i've always liked the arts scene...but not all of it though.I like watching the dance,hearing the tunes and admiring the art works by the artist.I am what i am.I won't like anything that you like and i won't change to somebody that i'm not.I'm still the same freakin guy that they all know before...like you know.Even if you don't like the arts it's not a waste right??But why do they to judge me like that?? sigh......

Before,it was hard for me to get friends to go to these kinda events or similar.Since my friends can't seem to understand,i would either not go or go alone if the event's too good to be missed.But not anymore.Now i think i've found some friends who can accompany me.And not just for company,they actually are enjoying it too.Why didn't our paths crossed before aye??I'm glad my circle of friends are widen and no i won't forget the old ones or the ones who mocked at me.Like i said before,i love all my friends no matter how bad or insensitive you might be.Am i too good??No.I make mistakes too sometimes.It's a matter of give and take or compromise.But remember,don't always take but never give.That's not the way to grow up.Gd night friends.

soundfeed:the power by Suede.

What's your blogger code??

2004-08-22T17:00:00.000+08:00

Check this out friends.It quite cracked me up a little.

These people always got something to create don't they??

soundfeed:clint eastwood by Gorillaz.

2004-08-21T23:07:00.000+08:00

Today is just another day for me.Yes it's the weekend but what does it has in store for me??Yeah,nothing.I woke up late today cos i wanted the hours past till it was nightfall.It was dusk finally,resting time's over.Had my dinner after shower and stayed glued to the magic tube for the daily dose of propaganda and genocide.Luckily there's the olmypics,i could rest my mind.

It's a shitty feeling sometimes.Waiting for the call that never comes.Promises made and broken again.Why am i feeling mad??It's like you're trapped or forced to live in a four-sided wall deprived of all the pleasures that awaits outside.But i don't wanna go out!! But i don't wanna stay hear either!! It's a situation i really hate to be in.Who does??Oh well...it's not like i've never been out before.I can still remember the significant neon lights location.And the nightcrawlers.

Right now i'm thinking of someone.Someone whom i haven't heard the voice for a very long time.The last we spoke on the phone was when i needed some advice on e-commerce.No,not for me.I was asking it for another friend.But this person was the one who sent me the birthday cake.I told her how grateful i was and it was something i never expected.But now we seldom talked on the phone or even sms.Not that we were always hogging on the phone before,but it's obvious that we kinda drifted apart.Why did it happened??I don't really know.But sometimes i feel that i might've said something that made her wanna stay away.But whatever it is,i'm sure that it wasn't intentional and i seek forgiveness from the bottom of my heart.I'm sorry Dee.

It feels like it's been awhile since i blogged like this.Frankly i feel lazy sometimes due to work stress or fatigue.My friend did tell me before that i would get lazy to update and stuff but i told him that would never happen.But i guess he's partly right.Why partly??Cos i didn't abandoned my blog altogether.Seldom it may be but i still blog.And i bloody love this new layout.Simplicity is the way to keep it.Right my friend.

I hope this pc won't be infected by any kinda virus anymore.It's such a hassle to do reformatting.And the last time i did it was with the help of a friend.Damn i still owe him a meal...hehehe.Nah i didn't forget,it's just that we seldom see each other.I'll treat him to that meal the next time i see him.But the mistake was,i didn't save all my mp3s and videos that i had stored in this computer..what a waste.Now i have to start all over again and luckily there are some files shared by friends when we chat online.Thanks everybody! Especially to this someone who shared with me her old skool malay hits.Terima kaseh!! LOL ! Life's great when you got beautiful friends around isn't it??The ppl i got to know online are all great.Everybody,every single one of ya..I heart you all.

Think i'll end it here for now.I'm gonna get some rest and catch more of the olympics game.I don't know if i'll go out later cos my plans are always last minute nowadays.Till then,have a gd weekend everybody and i'll catch you soon.

soundfeed:scatterbrain by Radiohead.

2004-08-20T22:08:00.000+08:00

Eye halve a spelling chequer
It came with my pea sea
It plainly marques four my revue
Miss steaks eye kin knot sea.

Eye strike a key and type a word
And weight four it two say
Weather eye am wrong oar write
It shows me strait a weigh.

As soon as a mist ache is maid
It nose bee fore two long
And eye can put the error rite
Its rarely ever wrong.

Eye have run this poem threw it
I am shore your pleased two no
Its letter perfect in it's weigh
My chequer tolled me sew.

-- Sauce unknown

Actually,this is the sauce.

soundfeed:hand in glove by The Smiths.

2004-08-20T16:20:00.000+08:00

it's raining today..
a weather that gives me joy
i woke up to the pouring sounds
the night's dream was still fresh
like it happened a moment ago..
i then remembered
it's a special day today..
i immediately thought of someone
someone whom i look up to and respect
who taught me the meaning of life
and what to prepare for my future
every detail not left out
since i was small till what i am today
i am thankful for everything
and i'm grateful to dad too..
and especially to the ONE,
for blessing me with a gd family..
kisses on the forehead,
with well wishes and the cake shared
then i thought to myself,
"next year is the big 3.."
but hey..it's nothin but a number

Thanks very much for the cake Dee.I really appreciate it.

soundfeed:Friday i'm in love by The Cure.

2004-08-19T03:00:00.000+08:00

My m.c.'s extended to another three weeks.The cast is off but now i'm using an elbow splint.Bloody thing costs me 90bucks!!..(duit lagi..!) It's occupational therapy they say.I can take it off when i wanna shower and during when i'm doing non-strenuous exercise for the whole arm.The x-ray showed that it's healing cept for a teeny-weeny part to patch up.No wonder it still hurts.Dammit! I feel like i'm spending more money now than when i'm working.

The olympics is on again.A celebration of the human spirit as they call it.I only catch it during the evening or the wee hours of the morning.The swimming events took place just now and boy what a show by this swimmer from Japan.He won the gold in the men's 200m breaststroke.Kosuke Kitajima is his name and he beat all the other big-sized westerners in that bloody pool.What a show i tell ya...And yesterday,Mexico beat Greece in soccer.Greece was the hot favourite cos they were the winners in the recent Euro Cup but it was the underdogs that excelled.FYI,Greece was the underdogs too when they won the said cup.What a twist.And Romania made sure the gold medals belonged to them in gymnastics.

Don't know how many medals could the lion city squad bring back this time.We'll wait and see.

It was raining earlier on.The drops from heaven cools the night.I feel so tired now.During the day after the hospital's appt.,i went to meet my fren.She was attending a course at tanjong pagar and finished earlier than her usual working time.so we decided to meet for a while.It could've been longer if she didn't have to go to Ikea to keep a promise to her fren.The journey home would be together cos me and her were staying in the same estate.So in the end we split up and i made my way home alone.But it wasn't home straight away.I met up with other frens at the coffeeshop.So now i'm gonna make my way to slumberland cos i got an early day later.I have to go back to the office for some unsettled business.Till then,gd night frens.

soundfeed:missing by Everything But The Girl.

2004-08-17T00:33:00.000+08:00

I guess your blog is a place where you let go or ramble abt your everyday life or watever right??It's your place and you can do watever you want.So watever it is,it's none of other's fuckin business.Good entry or crap,why shud they care??If they dun like it,they can always leave.Nobody's forcing them to stay.But some ppl thinks they're much more superior than others and they wanna show it.But they won't show or tell ppl who they are thus coming up with silly names or simply 'ANONYMOUS'.They'll show their superiority by leaving nasty comments abt you and even calling you names.Say wat u want my friend but leave the name-calling out.Do you think you're much better then me or anybody else??Well i bloody think you aren't.

Shoooo..!! Get away from here!!I don't belong in your class right??So don't ever come here again.There are much better webbies or blogs than mine so you better not come to this 'not too good for your reads' blog.This is my space and i'll do or post watever i want.Go surf somewhere else and stay out of this idiotic blog,I'm politely asking you to.I won't get mad at ya...It's a waste of time and energy.It's better to be mad at something else than to be mad at ppl like you.

Whoever you are "ANONYMOUSE",may God bless ya.You think i'd curse ya??

___________________________________________________________________________________

soundfeed:the wild ones by Suede.

2004-08-15T18:27:00.000+08:00

My previous comments page host juz wentA.W.O.L Now i'm using a new host and i hope it doesn't do the Houdini act too.Oh gosh..!!! Why is everything defying me??!!

2004-08-15T17:47:00.000+08:00

bite me!!

2004-08-15T03:34:00.000+08:00

Wat's in your head right now??Are you thinking of someone or abt something that you can't get it out??Are there a lotta questions in your mind??Do you wanna share it with anyone??And if you do,do you asked yourself again,"Do they know wat i'm goin thru now??" Would they try to find a solution for ya or juz be a listening ear??Or maybe they have that 'I do care abt you' look that deceives ya..Everyone wears a mask.I have a mask too.Do you??

My mind becomes a slide-show sometimes.Flashes of the past and the present slides one by one like drawing the future.Then i'll start to wonder,"Is this wat's gonna happen sooner or later??" Dun ask me how did it happened cos i dun have the answer myself.The sheer mechanics of a human body is already so complex,let alone the brain.But the images never stopped.It keeps coming on and playing like a moviethon.It only stops when i lay myself to sleep or my mind is caught up with some important stuffs.I'm experiencing it even now.

The world is getting wicked i feel.No one cares for anyone anymore.Maybe they say they do,but it's all juz a big lie.Are we too busy chasing our dreams and securing our future that we forgot our affections??Or do we get sick and tired of that person so quick that we begin to look for others to care for and being cared??Why is this happening??That is the question i always ask to myself.Maybe i'm wrong in this matter.Maybe ppl still care for each other but not to me.Maybe i'm not so important.But i know one thing's for sure.I may be zero for some,but not others.Maybe i shud stop caring too and see whether they realized my absence.Life's full of questions and experiments ya..

Some ppl think that some are worst than animals while others wants to become one.There are only herbivores and carnivores in the animal kingdom.But we humans maybe are those animals that gobbles up everything.Have you ever thought that there are some similarities between us and them beast??Scientists believes that we're the descendants of the apes.But you see,my religion forbids me to believe that.Science or pseudo-science,let them think what they want.But i know i wanna be like the monkey man hahahaha... That's one happy 'ape'.

Maybe i'm juz talkin abt me or you.I'm juz relating to wat i'm feeling inside of me.Maybe we're the same in some ways,but in many,we're different.Someone will be the bully while the other's a victim.Some are filthy rich,while the other's a pauper.There's a pair to everything or two sides of a story.Which one to believe??You decide.Life needn't be complicated.Maybe it's easy for me to say cos i'm not in a situation you think.Well let me enlighten you,everybody's been in a situation before.It's a matter of whether it's serious or not.So think with a clear mind so matters could be solved peacefully and with subtlety.But some ppl are known for their rashness.One of them is my kin.So sad...

I juz wanna let some things out you see...This composition would roughly tell ya how i'm feelin towards all these things that have taken place or feelings and emotions that i feel.And most of the time i do things for others and not for me.But when i start doin things for me,they think that i've changed or i've got a new attitude or that i'm becoming an introvert.Why do they judge me that way??You can't please everyone can you??So be it.But luckily all are not lost.Some do understand and i think they've matured in dealing with life and human issues.Some ppl are matured in age but not in behaviour.They still dunno how to be sensitive towards others.They think they're right but in heaven's will they're not....bloody not ever!!

I dunno if you'll contemplate abt wat i've juz said.Or is it too deep a subject??Until then,gd night.

soundfeed:strange and beautiful by Aqualung.

2004-08-13T19:35:00.000+08:00

What do u know..another band is comin down this weekend.It's raining bands i feel.One after another to colour the music scene here.And this time round is Hoobastank.Yeah the band who gave you 'The Reason'.Ermm....*thinking abt goin* We'll see about that.The event is bein held in Sentosa.Would be wonderful to be spending the wkend there.

I'm havin cramps once in a while.Such a strain on my left arm.Maybe cos it's casted for some time now and my arm is bended and held in that position thus the blood circulation is affected??I don't know,maybe.But one thing's for sure when the pain comes,i feel like cutting my arm off!!Yeah no kiddin mate!!The drugs don't work really.It's the painkiller pills la... :p

My next appt will be on the 18th.The cast will be removed and they will x-ray my arm.I hope it's healed good cos i somehow still feel pain when i move my arm.And i don't intend to be on mc for so long.I kinda miss work ya know.One of my team mate has resigned and his place is taken over by this fellow who's been with the company for more than 5yrs.He's good in electrical but it gets frustrating when he's on the phone.He'll forget his duties.Why??Why must i endure all these ppl??Aren't there any good souls left??Like i said before i'm not mr.perfect either,but at least i have my priorities straight.But these ppl ain't vibin' man....!

I'll just have to bear with it till i get a new offer.My mind is set abt leavin this company.But then it might change if there's some drastic changes in the team or i'm pushed to normal hours.Nine to five that is.. I've made plans for the near future and it includes study.Yeah study..this country's bloody competitive so i gotta upgrade my skills.And beat the 'colour' too.Cos like they say,"you're never too old to study".I just hope that i'll get to fulfil my ambitions.If God's willing i will.

I was havin one of those sleepless nights yesterday.Couldn't sleep so i spend time editing my blog and chat wit frens who were still online in msn during the time.So what you guys seen here is something i did with codes i managed to get but with some shared by caring frens..*winks* You know how complexed these html codes are.I managed to get some sleep around 7plus and woke up at 3pm just now.I don't know whether tonight would be the same again.Until then,i'll see ya guys soon.

*And he said "She's not dead, she's gone away, gone away" he said
He said "She's not dead, just go away go away" he said
- SUEDE.

soundfeed:everything's not lost by Coldplay.

2004-08-12T18:56:00.000+08:00

'These Are The Sad Songs' is definitely the one to play before you jump off the cliff"
- BRETT

"My only regret is that we didn't take it further. Bernard left the band when there was a lot more in us. We were untouchable, heading for the fucking moon. There were more creative juices flowing."
- BRETT

"I'd always known Bernard was going to leave. Totally known it. It was a matter of when."
- BRETT

"You can't get any more depressing than 'Dog Man Star'...."
- BRETT

"I see us being in a long line of classic bands....Beatles, Stones - bands who brought all sorts of eclectic influence together and made great music."
- BRETT, Sep '92

"I have written that song a thousand times, but Suede got it exactly right."
- NOEL GALLAGHER (Oasis), on 'So Young'

_________________________________________________________________________________

There are many things in life which is much more important to pursue or taken care of.But they made an impact on my life and i was guided by their music and lyrics apart from my faith in my religion.Yes there were many bands around that spiced up the music scene,but this band had a different touch and approach.With a vocalist that has a unique voice,it was easy to be charmed by them.Though at some point critics were unkind,the retailiation was mocking.Shame to them who didn't believed.Even though the band members changed,the heart of the fans dun.From blazing guitar sounds to electronics experiment,they never fail to hynotize.They proved that they're not just 'Another No One'.

I'm dedicating this entry to my favourite band always and forever,GEOFF,SUAVE AND ELEGANT or SUEDE.They were The wild Ones.

Why is it that all good things must come to an end??Not just music.

soundfeed:my insatiable one by SUEDE.

2004-08-12T01:20:00.000+08:00

Tiring-dats the word for today.Tired of waitin for the bus,train and the time to see the doctor.It was in after 2pm but i left early so i can take my jolly good time.Why do i want to leave early??Cos i had enuff rest and boredom was seeping in.Yeah it's killin me softly mate!!

Past two weeks at home had been quite a torture.It's prolly a break dat i needed after so long,but not with a cast on right??But lucky me i got frens who came over to spend time with and one of them even bought me a present for my b'day comin soon.I thought he was only joking when he called me beforehand to ask whether i wanted it.May not mean much or nothin to some,but it's awesome to me.But still,it's the thoughts dat counts rite??Well he got me a Slave 1.Dunno wat dat is??It's the spaceship in which Jengo fett and son Boba used for transport.Star wars....coolness...

Anyway..the check-up was brief and my MC was extended for another week.I bumped into my colleague on the way home so i passed him the cert.His team is on night shift today.After dat i went to meet my fren fer dinner.Left the coffeeshop at abt 8plus to catch Singapore Idol.I like to see the auditions where judges gets to meet all sorts of ppl.And i dun blame them if they feel dat some are mere annoyance and Hung wannabes.C'mon..if u want it then go for it but dun make a fool outta yourself man..!!But some are serious abt goin far.Speaking of which,wat is it dat they planned when they finally get a S'pore idol??How far can they take him/her??Will he/she be as successful like all dem idols from other countries??Or will it juz die with the show??Only Smarties have the answer..!!

I feel like i've got so much to blab abt but my mind kinda blocked right now.I prolly shud go retire now to charge myself for a brand new day.Charge aye...it's like over-charged man...Anyway,gd nite friends and see ya guys soon.

Oh simple thing where have you gone
I'm getting old and I need something to rely on
So tell me when you're gonna let me in
I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin- KEANE

*it's lyrics like these dat propels me forward.

soundfeed:all is full of love by Bjork.
(robotic video)

2004-08-10T22:22:00.000+08:00

it's a new layout but i got nothin to say for now....
cept for thanks rockstar...and

she didn't berry (not u rockstar).

soundfeed:virtual insanity by Jamiroquai.

2004-08-09T05:06:00.000+08:00

thru sms and on the web...
a msg of 'Happy' came flooding in..
yes it was for a birthday
but mine was soon to come..
but it's the birthday of the nation
celebrating jolly 39 yrs..
a celebration of independence..
a country with an interesting history
of a royalty who claimed dis land..
and an englishman who
build a settlement with a plan.
so here we are now today..
celebrating wit joy and glory..
eager in participation
hanging flags on every storey.

seems like any other day to me...

but it was nice chatting wit her.
soak the clothes.

soundfeed:true love waits by Radiohead.

2004-08-08T12:10:00.000+08:00

i've been on dis junction before
having too choose which way to go..
i took the path i felt was right
and sumtimes they'd follow..
to the sunset i'm approaching
the night is a black canvas
with tiny dots dat glitters.
the moon tells a story
\a story dat i'm familiar with..
a tale of two hearts wondering to find the truth.
i was able to relate,and so did them.
why do these things happen??
the story's ending..
thank you mr.moon.
and a new day's beginning
the sunrise was beautiful.
the sun dun bring stories..
but a hope and dreams a plenty
thank you mr.sun
a glimpse of ray is all i need
to make my way thru dis life..
and i'll share it wit those who followed
those who believed.
the two hearts are still wondering
wondering if their path would ever cross.
and their dreams realised.
but they're not the only ones..
seeking for answers in dis world.

*the heart is the strongest muscle..but yet so fragile.

soundfeed:john peel session by Mogwai.

2004-08-05T02:16:00.000+08:00

how much does ego means to u?? would u swallow it to salvage a situation or would u keep it intact like it was a crown to a king?? i know dat some ppl are way too egoistic to even admit dat they're afraid of sumtin... or to shed a tear when the movie really touches him/her deep inside.human pschology says dat it's the men dat has a thick ego.but in these times the girls are equally too.i know a girl whose ego is so thick dat the walls of china seemed destructible like a piece of vanguard sheet.everytime we had a misunderstanding or a quarrel,i would always have to give in.maybe bcos when i remember abt the gd times we had together dat made me hang on to her.but no..she's more than dat.she's a great fren.only her ego is pissin me off.

but ego is not abt dat.it's sumtin dat lies deep inside every human being on dis earth.it's an emotion dat God gave to us when we were made.kinda like a package thing u know.and of cos plus other feelings like happy,sad,scared,overwhelmed or juz bloody pissed.but why is it some ppl protect their ego so hard?? the solution is in front of u,u'll juz have to say sorry and everything will be fine again... but no...u had to defend ur ego and prolonged the time in resolving the matter.c'mon man...wats so hard abt saying sorry?? wats so difficult in making peace?? i juz dun fuckin understand it!! oh i'm sorry...dat was a recollection of my memories.many times i got involved in a situation like dat not bcos i wanted to or it's my fault.but bcos i was made the middle-man.and i fuckin hate dat too..!!some fren u are!!

every soul has their own ego.i have mine too.but i dun let it get in the way of wats going to be a beautiful relationship/frenship or a stepping stone to the advancement in my career.say sorry if u're in the wrong,cry at a movie if u want to and to some guys..it's ok to go to the market with ur mum.wats there to be embarassed abt??where's the loss of ego in dat??ur mother wasn't embarassed when her tummy was big carrying u inside....(korang bloody lepak siak..) ppl are goin crazy i'm tellin ya.. maybe it's not abt ego anymore.maybe it's sumtin else..maybe there's sumtin in their bloody brains dat tell them to do silly things for silly reasons.if there is sumtin else,u tell me.

i got a call from a fren.she told me abt sumtin dat had happened the day i was at the hospital.it pisses me right off!! many times dis particular person have been commiting the same mistakes and bloody not realized it.even if he does,he pretended not to.he will never learn cos he will never listen.why are there such ppl??in every other human being's circle of frens,there will always be dis kinda person.a bloody spoiler for occasions or a bloody ass mouth dat spout words which cuts deeply than a knife.and to think dat we have been frens since sec sch days.my gosh....i thought dat PEOPLE change as time goes by.. but apparently not in dis case.cos he's still a bloody pain in the arse!!and dats why i'm blogging abt dis.

soundfeed:just by Radiohead.

2004-08-03T17:53:00.000+08:00

where is the playground with squeaky swings??
where is the court where we sweat it out??
the go-cart that we shared..
and the toys unrepaired.
the dusk is like dawn
the day seemed never ends..
friends are calling
and mum's yelling...
oh what a beautiful story each day brings.

i could travel back in time
and bring back the memories with me.
but would you care to see??
the laughter and cries of you and me??
what happened to us??
what happened to you??
would you care to reminiscent the past??
or you kept the memories away from you??
you got no right to do that..
cos it belongs to us and not only you.
bloody hell i have it too.

where are you now??
where have you been??
do you sleep well at night??
not on the bed that you made.
i longed for that playground..
i want back the toys..
i want your screams and laughter..
and the day we fought our foes.
so wisen up my little brother..
cos we ain't got forever.

soundfeed:stop crying your heart out by Oasis.

2004-08-02T00:24:00.000+08:00

as i mentioned in my last entry,i took leave last saturday for my mate's gig and the reggae fest.but as humans we could plan and hope dat everything would turn out the way we want it to be.but not dis time round for me.i didn't even made it to the gig let alone the reggae fest.i met wit an accident.ya...an accident involving only my fren's scooter and thank God no other vehicle.seeing from the way it happened,me and my fren could've been ran over by the oncoming vehicle behind us.but we were lucky.

my fren came to pick me up at the petrol kiosk near my place.and during dat time,his bike was already giving a little problem on the timing.no...not the hour's time,the bike's timing dat is.u'll need to adjust dat to a suitable level so dat ur bike won't die whenever u stop,esp at a traffic light stop.before dat on the phone i already asked him if we shud take the train.but he said he dun wanna be late for the gig.so after we met at the kiosk,off we go to our destination.along the way the bike was already giving out these funny sounds and i kept asking him wat was dat.both of us thought dat it could be the engine or sumtin but we juz kept on going.everythin seems okay until we were at the Cte.juz before the balestier exit,the bike wobbled and my fren lost control.in a split second we were down on the tar and like i said earlier,luckily the vehicle behind managed to brake in time.boy dat was really close.

so we quickly got up and my fren pushed his bike to the side of the road.and u know wat,the rear tyre came off.ya mate...the rear tyre.how did dat happened we dunno.but one thing's for sure,they were a lotta busybodies and no helpers.my fren managed to fixed back the tyre temporarily and so we walked slowly towards the balestier exit to get to the main road.we made a few calls and soon another fren arrived to pick us up.i thought i was ok at first and we were determined to go to the gig.but then i realized dat it was painful when moved my left arm.dats when we thought dat i need to go to the hospital.and true enuff the x-ray results later showed dat i had a fractured arm.

in all i had a fractured left arm,abrasions on my left shoulder and bruises on me left leg.ya cos i skidded on my left side.i'm now typing wit one hand..hahaha.maybe i'm having too much fun and God wanted me to rest for a while....hehehe.fancy me for saying dat.i'm juz sad dat i couldn't make it to my mate's gig.it would've been awesome with all the other mates whom i seldom see having a good time together.ahhh wat the heck..things already happened.and of cos by God i dun blame my fren for dis.he's hurt too u know and he didn't meant it to happen.it's a pity dat he has to send his bike for repairs again when it's only out a few weeks ago.poor guy and he's still serving the nation if u know wat i mean.and i mentioned abt taking mcs,now i've got two weeks mate...maybe extended.

lastly i would like to say a big thank you to my fren suzy who was there at the hospital to accompany and pushed my wheelchair..hahaha.....and sent me home after.it's not the first time she's been there for me.thank you dear fren...u're swell.

soundfeed :down by the water by Pj Harvey.

2004-07-28T12:45:00.000+08:00

I got one more night to go before my next off days.And i'm taking leave dis sat for my mate's gig and the reggae fest later at night on the same day.I"ve been missin quite a number of their gigs due to work cos it always clashes with my shift.But at times if situation permits,i'll apply for leave.Frankly i dun get to do dat often cos it's kinda troublesome when applying for leave.Reason bein is bcos u gotta look for someone to cover ur place before u go.Well...for some of my colleagues,they are willing to do it,but for others,i wouldn't rely on them.Senang nak ajar,MC.But of cos i dun do dat often.The last time i took it was 4 mths ago.

I always hear ppl say dat life sucks.And i admit dat sometimes i do whine abt it too.But not bcos i hate my life or snythin like dat...but bcos the way the system goes,u know wat i mean??I dun hate my life..in fact i'm grateful for all the things dat i've got or wat i'm blessed with.I love my family,my frens,my job (it's juz the ppl),the sun,the moon,the sky,the stars and everything else dat comes from the ONE.Hey...everyone's got their problems,but whining certainly won't solve it.So i've learned to take things easy and take one thing at a time and stay calm and happy always.If possible,i won't let it show.But i do have a couple of ppl dat i trust who be of dat listening ear.I can hide it,but i dun think i can bottle it up.U know the feeling of relief when u let it all out.And less tension too.

So wat do i tell these ppl?? Well frankly i dunno wat to tell them.Maybe i juz tell them abt how i cope with my emotions and deal wit my problems and enlighten them on the true meaning of life.Wat is the true meaning of life?? I suppose everybody has their own answers and mine would be... to look for the answers dat leads to happiness.Wat can make my mum happy??Wat can cheer up my fren??Wat shall i do today to pamper myself?? Life itself is an enigma.There answers to be found and some are better left unsaid or unanswered.For watever u do,be sure dat it will provide happiness for urself and for the ones u're doing it for.But of cos the basic drill would be to make ourselves happy before we can provide dat to others.If not,nothing u'll do would be fulfilling.

Of cos dis is juz how i feel abt all dis.Like i said earlier,everybody's got their own answers or questions.Whichever way u choose to do or watever u want,i'm sure u'll have ur own way of dealing wit it.Why say life sucks when we're the ones who can change all dat?? To me life only sucks if u make it dat way.Remember dat we dun have forever and time is running out.And dun blame fate cos all the bad things come from us,not from GOD.So stop all these pseudo-depressions and go have a slide on the rainbow.It is there and it's FREE.

CHILL,dun leave home without it :)

current tune:i am by Killing Heidi.

2004-07-27T19:42:00.000+08:00

i'm fighting a battle.it's not a formidable one cos it's all in the mind.mind over matter they say... but if i win dis,then no more 'distortions' there will be.

and guess wat,i'm not alone.

current tune:faithfully by Journey.

2004-07-26T01:26:00.000+08:00

A colleague is leaving the company soon.Apparently he's found a better offer somewhere else.I juz wanna say all the best to him and may his plans of starting a family soon won't suffer any 'hiccups'.And frankly most of them are leaving too,including myself once we get a better offer elsewhere.When u gotta go,u gotta go.No point in waiting for anything...cos promises are meant to be broken.Agree??NO?Then it's juz me then.

A lotta events took place for the past couple of weeks.Events such as the arts fest (which is over of cos),the usual weekend trips (gigs),baybeats(which is kinda cool) and soon another weekend trip coming soon next wkend with my mate's band performing.I've taken leave on dat day to render support for my mates and then goin to sentosa for the reggae festival.A fest dats showcasing local and foreign talents.Boy i hope it'll be a blast.And if i'm not mistaken,in next month or two,WOMAD!!Dat is another event not to be missed.An event i look forward to every bloody year.It's play time..!!

These are the kinda things dat makes me relax and happy.I guess i needn't picture abt the life dat we're goin thru here.I mean the pressure of everyday werking life or studies.So these are the times where u can relax and chill for a moment....u know some time off from the rat race.Damn...sometimes i wonder is dis wat life's all about."of cos not",some of u might say.Then how do u dissipate the pressure or stress??And if u noticed,some people are leading a dissipated life.I dun wanna go there mate!!Pseudo-happy life we're in??Dat means a fake disposition right??I mean if for happy dat is... See how distorted i am??One minute i was babbling abt the upcoming happy events,now i'm talkin deteriorating mental! Gosh...wat the fuck have i??But it's somethin we all (for those of u living here)can relate to right??Yes we can.As for the others not from here,good for ya mate!

Well dats it for now..I'm gonna have my rest.I dun wanna go myopic.Gonna go lie down and listen to some good tunes while waiting for the Copa America finale between arch rivals Brazil and Argentina later at 0350hrs.Who's gonna win u reckon??The former Maradona's team or the samba team??Hard guess or u've picked ur winner??Only Smarties have the answers... :-)

current tune:design for a life by Manic Street Preachers.

2004-07-24T04:15:00.000+08:00

Ever been in a state of equilibrium awry??Does it show in ur behaviour??How do u overcome it??Care to share the remedy??Extenuate??

current tune:don't cry by Sigur Ros with Mogwai.

2004-07-21T18:00:00.000+08:00

It's been like a long time since i last blogged.Well i couldn't find the time or energy cos work was abundance lately.Everytime i get homw from work,i'll spent less time on my pc then turn in soon after.But i feel dat the company is not doin much for the welfare of the employees.No they're not making use of us,but rather like we're missing all the benefits dat we used to have.And dis company is a foreign one,but look at it after the locals take over.Isn't it suppose to be good and not otherwise??Or is it the latter??

I'm sure most of us enjoyed our adolescence.Not a worry in our head and frens were surrounding us.Seems like we can be watever we wanna be.But even so,underneath the rebellious looks and angst,we are dat obedient child.Naughty but not insolent,protestant but not ingrateful.I feel dat watever we did was based on a guide line dat our parents laid even though they're not wit us outside.And yes...outside influences were much greater than home,but still we managed to follow our parents' lead.How did we do it??Ever asked urself dat question?? And do u tremble in fear when it comes to bein disciplined? I bet the kinda method our parents used are no longer practiced.No more canes,belts,clothes hangers or watever our parents can get their hands on.But even so,the beatings have never inflicted any serious injuries.I guess when they beat us,they do it with love too.And for myself,my late granny were always the saviour.And in some cases,i feel really superior...like al capone or sumtin.Nobody can touch me or they will answer to my grandparents.Man....those were the days hahaha...

But every new generation sings a different tune.The kids now are well protected by laws and such dat they even threatened their parents.If the beatings are extensive,they can call the police and under the new laws,the parents can go to jail.I mean it's good dat the kids are protected cos there are some parents who make their children the sandbags for them to vent their anger on.They're much worst than a beast.And there are kids who mistreat their parents and bein insolent to the max.But no beast were around to 'eat' them.So,how did dis happen?? Do the kids lack attention or given too much??Does the law really protect them?? Or are they under a lotta pressure from studies and all?? Only SMARTIES have the answer.To me,it's totally different from 10 or 15 years ago.They are much more daring and more 'adult' for their age.Sumtimes i can't stand the sight of them.And their fashion now sucks too!!Tapered jeans?! Oh come on...!! Flirting with sexuality is one thing,but insolent to ur parents?!! Somebody shoot the 'dog'!! And always they do first without thinking and not the other way round.

take me out by Franz Ferdinand.